But baby dont c r y..
Friday, October 31, 2008
" why you ask her if she's fine and not me "
" oh cos its pretty obvious you're not"

ah. I am officially out.

reject. REEEEJECKT >.<

okay. i should look on the brightside. Thank you. THANK YOU.

{ 2:00 PM }

Baby i can see us touchin like that
Thursday, October 30, 2008
covers ears squats and screams shut up. leave me alone. go away. come here. hug me . Fuck you.

oh yah. went out with darius ytd. tarded boy. I was laughing till my stomach ached like not even an hour after i met him. Funnie booi. hahahah you do that dar, write on a post it and put it on a leaf , and that leaf better be on a treee in orchard or somewhre exotic . laughs!! stupid player. thats it. everyone reading this will know u're a player. hahaha OMG AND SKATEPARK AS WIFII isnt tt like uber cool.?!

Oh. and those dreams are back. They're back. The palpable fear. The heart wrenching sense of panic. The desperate deisre to live and get out of there. Run cheryl run. Fly cher flap ur wings and fly. do this do that you can do it. Its ur dream. They were eating ppl. alive. saw everything. took a chunk off their necks first .took chunks off the necks of children. thn i heard footsteps. i panicked i hid under the bed. i saw her walking past. thn she paused. thn she bent down and her eyes met mine. and thn everything began. the chase. the fear and the mad dashing.


mother. distance. now.

Never E V E R promise me or say with resolute certainty that you're not like the others. Never ever promise a girl that u're different, never tell her you wont treat her like how others do. because u are the same. u're the same, u will hurt her and make her cry. No not now, how is tt possible. you want her. u'll never hurt her. of course not. thats why not now . But later. as always. you do that. you keep those words to yourself. do us a favour and dnt even think about it.

{ 9:31 AM }

Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I'm doing the guy thing. i'm fucken tired, dead tired, eyes burning tired, its almost midnight and i just got home. Sitting in front of the screen in my underwear(s) . procrastinating. thinking. I realise i miss you. I dont like being alone. Think of you when im alone. Miss you and get sad when i'm alone. Dont like being alone.

{ 8:47 AM }

Monday, October 27, 2008
I feel...obliged to blog about something.

I had plans to head to the sci library to study some physics but my plans were thwarted by the insideous malice of FATIGUE/ pure laziness. The boyfie called last night. golly i cant remember the last time i heard his voice. ( dnt even ask me when was the last time i saw hm). sigh

anyways my growling tummy forced me out of bed this afternoon. stuffed some bread down my gullet for the sake of placating my hunger. - still not completely awake- dragged my arse back to my room to get some studying done. the weather and the bed proved a temptation too sweet to resist. so i slept. and i dreamt. of weird things.

Today = boring mundane but rather productive.

Philo essay and einstein story. i dunno which i ought to be workin on first. I've got the feel for philo. go philo. go go go.

I cannot stop listening to ALPOH. i dunno whhy

I feeel...free. and relieved.

{ 6:41 AM }

A little piece of heaven
Friday, October 24, 2008
Before the story begins, is it such a sinFor me to take what's mine, until the end of time. We were more than friends, before the story ends. was weak with fear that something would go wrong. Before the possibilities came true, I took all possibility from you .Almost laughed myself to tears, conjuring her deepest fears.

Must have stabbed her fifty fucking times,
I can't believe it
Ripped her heart out right before her eyes, eyes over easy
Eat it, eat it, eat it

Cause I really always knew that my little crime would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs .And I know, I know it's not your time but bye bye. And a word to the wise when the fire dies: You think it's over but it's just begun. But baby don't cry .You had my heart, at least for the most part

{ 11:54 PM }

Be careful what you wish for
Friday didnt feel like a good day. It didnt. It really didnt. But it was. Rationally, reasonably GOOD.

Avenged was fucking awesome. They're good live, nt like other bands. I got my ticket for 80 dollars, intead of the original 95 or the door price at 110. :):) **** :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D. Met keng wai there. stupid lucky asshole. sexist mosh pit. They didnt let me mosh! they didnt! LIKE SRSLY YOU KNOW. how sweet though. lol. deleon told me to chill. I almost did a double take. Felt a little restrained. . laughs. such sweet ppl .

Damn tired. was having a minor headache even before the gates were opened. But it didnt stop me. It couldnt.

Hilarious, almost partied like a true rockstar. Our plans to club after the gig were thwarted buy a slight hiccup. Went to nurse our cheebye hungry stomachs at boat quay.. damn farneh. anyways, shawn left to find his girlie. Was to tired to go drinking so i figured that i'd just go along with wei liang ( whose name i only got like when he was sending me home. hahaha).At least i cud hitch a ride that way. ended at some uncle club with thumping techno music and a live band who plays like shit thai hokkien korean i dunno what else songs, where everyone sips on martel, where all the girls have like long straight hair fair skin and almond eyes. You know what i'm talking about. Got to know two realleh cute girls. but i didnt get their name. Got to know wei liang's hokkien speaking friend . Didnt get his name as well. Got to know his friend's friend. Didnt get to know him as well. hahahha whatever.

Left a while later. thank god. Cudnt stand the music. too loud. Though i had fun watching drunk 40++ yr old uncles dancing (horridly) to horrid music.

Had a good chat with wl otw home. damn farneh. After talking alot, i was like " FUCK la, life sucks lah!" He hit the steering wheel and agreed. USUALLY, i'd get some good counsel. But no not this time. I'm glad.

And i think his hokkien friend is hilarious

See. Today was a good day. Good things happened. like truly good things happened. And i lost count of the number of sticks i ate. I've never met someone so generous with his cigs before.

{ 12:09 PM }

Thursday, October 23, 2008
Cheryl thanks her friends.Audrey i love you deepz deepz. I was feeling terrible so i called her. Little did i know she was crying. made me wanted to cry as well. but i was in public. so i cudnt.

Its a damn cold night.

{ 10:18 AM }

Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Cheryl loves driving!!!!

Caught a movie today. Dont even remember its title..wait..lemI me thnk..remember to burn? Burn after reading. yes. BURN AFTER READING IS THE STUPIDEST AND MOST ENJOYABLE BUDGET MOVIE EVERZ. George clooney and Brad Pitt were in it!!! and brad was a celefaire!! AND HE FUCKING GOT SHOT IN THE HEAD! damn cool. Even though the plot was silly and gg nowhere, i enjoyed it because it was real. It reflected emotions i could relate to. I sorta knew what they were going through.

Driving was damn fun. The instructor allowed me to drive HOME. laughs!

Kiss me like you mean it; like you miss me cos i know you do.

{ 8:54 AM }

Monday, October 20, 2008
Woke up and bloody six thirty in the morning on my fucken free day. was up and out of the freaken house at ten just to find out that i had made an unnecessary trip to bbdc. walked in the sweltering heat to catch a bus to wm to update my stupid pdl. thn rushed home to take a shit and a quick bath before making my way dwn to cb to finish up my stupid essay.

sixteen year old kids talking about a ' post prom party'. where? chalet. HAHAHAHAHA Talking about drinking and waht not. oh goshh

fourteen year old chinese delinquents , scantily clad at like 12.30 in the afternoon. what surprise me even more is their financial capacity to buy a drink from cb.

why have u been visiting me in my dreams of late? queer.

this friday. i'm sorta exited!!!

{ 9:26 PM }





{ 8:34 AM }

I dnt like lying to you. I dnt look forward to telling you the truth either.

Audrey called me this afternoon just to chide me and to help her scold hanny as well. touched much! Was talking to her in the bus, up the formidable flight of stairs , into the sci lect, until the lecturer started talking, until i really had to go off. I wondered if the ppl arnd me heard what i was saying, they certaintly didnt appear to be listening ( i'm glad). se xse x s e xs ex se x ! laughs

I think i really am a klutz. Dropped my one side of my flip flops on the bus today. Then while talking to audz my sn package fell off my lap onto the isle of the bus. cringe.

{ 5:42 AM }

Sunday, October 19, 2008
oh. my. god. i always thought..cos i didnt know. but now that i do. I feel so incredibly relieved/mortified. can those two go toegether? i think so.

{ 4:36 AM }

Saturday, October 18, 2008
I hate liars more than anything else in this world

Momo (as usual) helped me put everything into perspective. Gotta love him for that.

Bumped into alex. Lol

{ 12:42 PM }

Mj night was fun. Despite being one fucking player short, it was hilarious. Tali kept winning at first and accorded her luck to that feng shui shit in mommy's room. Thn the boyfriend did some magic thing and he started winning, thn i began to win as well. HAHA. tali was NOT a happy girl. But at least she wasnt the one that had to down 10 freaken muffins. Baby won the most ( so0o0o proud of him. haha) but it was a no win no lose situation at the end of the day.

I love her! I love her cos she understands. hahaha

sex tht night and this morning was fucken awesome.

i love him

Cher's a happy girl. Enoying it while it lasts.

{ 4:04 AM }

Thursday, October 16, 2008
He's the sweetest drug.

{ 10:01 AM }

Was walking to the library when i bumped into michelle. Walked to Deck and bumped into Jamie. Waited forever for David to come. Taffy came a while later. At the end of our lunch conversation, we established a RELIABLE correlation between dota and briefs and small packages.

Jamie : taffy i think you really should go for it
Me : yeah man. wear boxers.
jamie : yah. its time u let loose. let go of ur inhibitions.

hahahah

I conviniently conveyed mbf's notion of small packages and boxer boys to jamie who retorted *high pitch man bitch attitude and tone* : what! no those who wear briefs prolly have it small. its the only way they are able to fit theirs into that tiny little thing while ours are too HUGE to fit.

hahahaha omgggg

But i know its not true. i know its not true because MY BOYFRIEND WEARS BRIEFS AND HIS GUGUBIRD IS AS BIG AS A CHEEBYE CUCUMBER BRINJAL . HAHAHAHA OMIGAWD DID I JUST TELL THE WHOLE WORLD? AND OKAY . I WILL TAKE IT DOWN. AFTER U THREATEN TO SLAP ME I WILL TAKE IT DOWN. UNLESS U DNT WANT. HAHAHAHA

Dayyyymnnnn farnehh


My momma left w/o saying goodbye

Its been a while since i came back to an empty house. boo.

{ 7:20 AM }

the day that you thot wud never come
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
[Liting]- old lady with her shawl and hot milo says:
LOL. CHERYL IS A GOOD AND FAITHFUL GALFREN

[Liting]- old lady with her shawl and hot milo says:
so proud of u sia

I'm almost proud of it too.

{ 7:12 AM }

mommy's leaving for hk tmr. will be back on sunday. woohoo? makes no difference this time

{ 3:32 AM }

I'm not insane i'm not insane.

I feel insane every single time I'm asked to compromise. Cause I'm afraid I’m stuck in my ways, and that’s the way it stays. So how long did I expect love to out weigh ignorance? Now that look on your face I may have forced the scale to tip .Shame pulses through my heart from the things I’ve done to you. It’s hard to face, but the fact remains that this is nothing new. I left you bound and tied with suicidal memories. Selfish beneath the skin but deep inside I'm not insane

Nice weather.

love loves.

I cannot believe. I had/have a fucking speech. All written out in my head. Tip of my tongue. Rot and falls away.

I've lost count of the times i've replayed Almost easy.

I'd like to spend the entire day lazing in my room lazing in bed lying on you, trace my fingers across your chest, laughing. on top of you under you fucking the day away. - its been a while.

{ 1:48 AM }

Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Take it away/take it back. take it away? take it back? takeitawaytakeitback. TAKE IT BACK TAKE IT BACK.

impossible.

anyway, a7x,toc,and zoukout. wah cheryl its either you're cheebye rich or you're guna be cheebye poor. haha. oooher and i MUST get down to getting myself inked SOON.

{ 6:19 AM }

Monday, October 13, 2008
I dont remember being this tired . I think i had around 4 hours of sleep last night. Normally i'd be able to function with four hours. Today however, i almost died. Though i stayed awake during lectures and all, i cud hardly keep my eyelids from shutting in the library. TWICE. went to the lib during my 2 hr break in the morning. slept. went to the lib after my gem grp discussion in the evening..and slept AGAIN. golly.

tuition was fun.

I..dont know what to do. :s For once i'm reluctant. Ah. petty emotions.

{ 7:36 AM }

Sunday, October 12, 2008
Cheryl you can do this; Giving up 8 weeks of your life. You dont need it anyway. All those unnecessary drama that do nothing but complicate matters and give you superficial comfort. I dont want a boring life. I dont want it to be filled with drama either. And if it has to be intersting thn i want it to be filled with good stuff. (sigh). I dnt see tht materializing in the near future, so i guess i'll opt for a mundane uneventful vapid life. sigh sigh. sigh. SIGH. SIGH.

THEY SAY THE WORLD IS ROUND

I want to be dependable, I want to be courageous and good. I want to be faithful so that I can be heroic and true. I want to be a friend you can rely on you can lean on and trust. I want to understand so i can forgive and be willing to love. I wish I wasn't flesh and blood. I would not be scared. Of bullets built with me in mind. For then I could be saved

{ 6:30 AM }

Saturday, October 11, 2008
double fucking standards.

{ 10:59 PM }

Dear boyfriend,

Even if you cant walk and half of ur body is battered and bruised and swollen and fuct, i'll still love you. hahaha =)

Oh there goes plans for next week. Everything happens for a reason. I dont know which direction its pointing to but until a definate arrow materializes, i'll just go with the flow.

{ 12:16 AM }

Friday, October 10, 2008
I ended up skipping school . Even though i did set my alarm, i couldnt wake up in time. Considering how i had 15 mins before lect started and i was still in my bed, i figured it best to sleep in. hurhur.

Today was boyfriend day. sorta. like 1/4 of the day. He made me watch Eagle Eye. Dnt really have a problem with it but i'd pref to watch housebunny. haha . I love the whole concept of the movie as it touched on many relevant issues ( pertaining to the mod i'm taking ) such as privacy and power politics. And yeah, it is sorta just another action flick. How predictable. To hold a stupid A. I accountable for all that meticulous planning and power. The ending was horrible as well. I feel tt they shud have put the reflection speech made by the secretary at the end. it wud have made the ending more complete. ( i secretly almost dozed off)

chilled at town for a while before he had to leave for soccer. Crashed hana's place. had an awesome bitching session. damn fucking hilarious. I was bitching to her about some pressing issue and her comment lifted my spirits quite abit. haha " with a name like that. duh" LAUGHS. yeah man.

Didnt give in to her repeated attempts at badgering me into watching pan's labyrinth or topgun. ( hurrah).

Tired.

oh golly. I almost forgot how sweet you taste .

{ 12:20 PM }

Thursday, October 09, 2008
Grass juice. is n o t cool.

Ah so thats why

Time for some concealer action!

{ 2:51 PM }






I, regret.
The tears dont fall
They crash around me
*
I'm having sleeping problems. again. i hit the bed at twelve plus. If it isnt extremely light sleep. its falling asleep at 3 in the morning. The monsters arent here..yet. lets hope not. i'm tired. I studied in school till late.
Come sit beside me. Let me into your world, i wanna get lost in it.
I hate everything. I hate the fatigue. I hate sleepless nights. I hate work.I hate south asian. I hate my mother I hate my father. sigh.
sigh

{ 9:16 AM }

Wednesday, October 08, 2008
cheryl wait. be patient and wait. now is not the time.

{ 9:34 PM }

If the world only manufactured marlb lights, i will quit smoking. hanny your cigs almost killed me this evening. how can anyone eat that shit, taste like petroleum. ( prolly is. HAHA). beggars cant be choosers. yes yes i know.

I think..i love sleeping in the library.

Finally got ps presentation over and done with. Now on to SN mid terms . . and Q&A :/

I dont know what i want. Its definately for the best. I wish i was more disciplined.

I told hana over lunch that i have finally progressed to the stage in retrospect, of reflection and stark realization, that both my BFF's have been from the start. she was so happy for me. i'm happy for her too. proud of her actually. I felt like a mommy watching her baby all grown up. I was there to see her discuss her biz law assmnt with her mates today. she sounded so smart. i was so proud of her! For someone who thought Bishan was lost on the red line, for someone who didnt know where yck was, for someone who didnt know you cud take a train to harbour front. I'M SO PROUD OF YOU BFF!!



{ 7:15 AM }

Tuesday, October 07, 2008
I wish i was more disciplined.

{ 10:24 AM }

Monday, October 06, 2008
10 minutes ago i was still in my bed. Woke up for some online group meeting. Sipping on milo and hardly awake. I have so much eye dirt in my eyes that my vision is blurred. gee.

I had bad dreams. :(

{ 6:30 PM }



HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHA THIS IS FOR YOU. ITS BEEN TOO LONG MAN TOO FUCKING LONG . HAHAHAHHAHA *WAVES FRANTICALLY*

{ 8:38 AM }

Sunday, October 05, 2008
I dont know what to think of my weekend. It didnt go as planned. In fact, it turned out the opposite as planned and it borderlined horrible to say the the least. was extremely disappointed, considering how much i was looking forward to it. I felt that my efforts at rushing m ps essay was all for nothing. sigh. But whatever, finally cleared things up with the mbf and felt so motha fucken liberated after that. ( oddly so, dunno why)

My house hopping adventure .
popped by hana's place after he left. slacked chilled and did silly stuff till about an hour after midnight before leaving for ernie's. Had planned to hop over to moses's after that but it was alr too late/early. Walked like f o r e v e r z from 6th ave to GUTHRI only to find ugly mid thirty couple making out and the bryani stall, closed. SO. it was either to adam's road or al ameen. I chose the latter. so bus eleven to the prata shop it was. Bumped into li ren r e s p e c t and sw there. found out tt ernie was frm nyps. got the shock of my life. went back to his place to get my ipod. only to have it make noisy disgruntled cracking noises. :/

Anyways, i feel unusually bland today. I think thats a good thing. i'm keeping my fingers' crossed.

I know i shud have. but i didnt. I honestly didnt it would matter. But yeah knowing you i shud have known better. In any case I didnt. For you i didnt. for you.

{ 2:34 AM }

Friday, October 03, 2008
you're making it so damn hard.

{ 4:11 AM }

Thursday, October 02, 2008
the whole world is against me

{ 10:31 AM }

Cut me up again
Went to holland V ( after an extremely long hiatus) , and got more out of it than i had expected. Initially, it was a simple meet up with hanny and janice. But then dayard joined us and things got really funny. THEN THEN, on the way home, i ended up having the most..interesting bus ride E V E R Z

oh golly.

{ 8:13 AM }

Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Shane. IM the Supervisor says:
i r went clubbing yesterday~

Shane. IM the Supervisor says:
and and guess what =P

Shane. IM the Supervisor says:
mojo~
Shane. IM the Supervisor says:
is
Shane. IM the Supervisor says:
back~

I say:
HOW MANY GIRLS DID U GET!

I say:
HAHAHAHHAHAA

Shane. IM the Supervisor says:
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEEE

due to privacy reasons ( hahaha!) i shall not disclose the number

I say:
OH SHIT

I say:
SHIT

I say:
THATS ALOT

I say:
HAHAHAHHA

I say:
FUCK

and then i began giggling to myself and smiling perpetually like some IDIOT in the library...STILL giggling.

*a few mins later*

LAUGHING. LAUGHING TO MYSELF IN THE LIBRARY

{ 9:24 PM }

Neversweet*

There are bullet holes where compassion used to be
Loves

Hanabanana Choo Wei Chen Ben Fong Nick Gary
Dont look back

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