Emotional Entropy

more like emotional void. I dont feel like doing anything other than being a complete bum. vegetating in front of the teevee, hybernating in my room. Time and time again i keep telling myself that i'd bum at home for the whole day, but 5 hours was the furthest i went. Ended up reading and cleaning the house. well, half of it to be exact. maybe less. hur. just mopped the floors. w0w what a sense of satisfaction that did. now the tiles are all shiny and pristine. lovely.

I'm plagued by my growing adversion to crowds and decreasing tolerance of .. people. ha. But its just me and no one else. Cant blame people for being themselves. i may find em irritatable and selfish but i dont hate them. gaHh whatever. just keep it all in. hyprocrisy? hardly. but thats like a pot calling a kettle black.

Chick flicks are an integral part of a girl's life. Caught Jon Tucker ytd. hilarious shit. shrills of laughter man .
{ 9:18 AM }

These past few days has helped put into perspective about my priorities and shifted my view on life, it has also reached deep down under heaps of hurt and anger , some concern for my father that i never knew existed . But i was more ..expressive about my anger than anything else. I shant eleborate or try to explain..because of the complexity and repulsive family politics and plain disgusting 'ethics' of adults. So all in all, i gave the impression of an callous unfiliar daughter . how disappointing. . grrr fuck. oops. i had to say it. fuck fuck fucketty fuck.

Thank all who've been there for me.

oomphf, novel way of begging: Using a Gong. saw it todae at the interchange. tat begger, redolent of an albino hippie used to wind thhose 'pop goes the weasel' thingies, but he switched to a gong 'stead. so as i walked thru the pathway, i'd hear a resounding, oddly peaceful ggoonngg every five seconds. had a hard time controlling my laughter.



{ 9:14 AM }

Tell me baby whats your story

My dad's ill. he came home today and puked all over the bathroom floor. From the 17 years i've been here, i've never him this sick before, nor anywhere near for that matter. I think he's stressed out by work. I admit i'm concerned and a little worried for him buhd i didnt make the slightest effort to show it. :1

Am i supposed to be relieved that bio is fianlly over? I spent the evening playing majiong with mother and i lost 5/5 games to her. whateverr hmm. but i did get a better understanding of myself. Odd, its like thru games or sports that u learn more about who u are.
{ 8:45 AM }

As the name suggests, my nose was subjected to sm hardcore use. Went perfume shopping with mark. Ah the influx of a vide variety of scents numbed my sense of smell and by the fourth one, everything pretty much smelled almost identical. GahH. Dont u wonder why those male sale's assistants around the perfume area tend to look adrogenous? and most of the time they're pleasantly bently good loooking rather than horridly gay!

There's a kid living around my neighbourhood, he's like 2-3 years my jnr and from what i rmb from my pri sch days, his mother spoils him rotten. Dotes on him like shit. And even after he entered sec sch, his mother cont to fetch him from sch every single dayy. After a 2 year absence, i finally saw that kid's mother again. She waited for him outside the sch gate, under mid-afternoon sun, wore exhaustion all over her, her eyes fading to the colour of death. I used to dispise her of how over loving she was. Now i just sympathized with her. I could almost feeel her pain. Gee, a kid with such parantal governance, gg to such a sch. i'd be surprised if he remained docile. sighh

Pleasant things occur when u least expect it. just shows how blind we all are. i think we're meant to be blind.
{ 9:56 AM }

I keep failing my essays. The grades get lower with each compo that i do, up to the point that it has succeeded in injecting some form of fear within me and induced the possibility of acheiving some form of ' self fullfilling' prophecy. i'm puzzled, disappointed and sAd


I bumped [again] into mel on my way home. Didnt quite recognise her from the back but i decided to take my chances so i gave a a nice thud of her back. Incidentally , we boarded the same bus as some jolly insane maniac who repeatedly prefaced a warm hearted HoHoHo with the word 'chiobu' -laughs- I found it quite amusing at first, but then began to see him as someone redolent of a broken tape recorder. Gee, if onli all mad people were this happy. If i were to lose my mind, i'd rather be happy mad. -cringe- i'm not making sense.

prima deli waffles taste heavenly.


{ 7:40 AM }

Why do people dress up at kap? I find it extremely odd. See i walked into the restroom in flip flops, an oversized Tee with my hair done up in a plain simple manner and standing beside me was someone smoothing the creases of her blouse and skirt. doing her hair and everything. I frowned. Thn i had to pee again and another prim preppy girl was there. :s man.

Hana and i got a lil aggrevated with this bunch of AES kids who talked with firm confidence about the ways of life and the various tertiary educations as if they knew it at the back of their hands. There was one girl, she spoke with airy confidence about society's " blunders" and derided pragmatism and especially jc people. i wasnt so much of offended than horrified at how ignorant she is! she put them down. sour grape. She spoke in a tone that made whatever she said believable and true but break down the string of sentences and examine her claims and u'd find them as week as a 60 year old after an hour of vigourous sex. tsssk .


{ 7:13 AM }

I'm about to leave for dinner in a while but i'm not the least hungry. Dont even know where or what dinner would be.

mmf. spent the day in my wonderful solitary cell with bio notes plastered to my face. I intended to study out but shit happened. Was supposed to meet nise for my file but she passed it to shane whu went god knows where. sed he pass it tuh me at night when i planned to revise in the afternoon. so yeah. so much for planning. ' when u want smth done right, u just gotta do it urself' right on Fred. once again, all fingers point at me for being the bum . righhttt. Whatever

I find the little turtle emoticon sorely irritating. Read some article about his death, the reporter mentioned something about the police keeping that vid as evidence to further analysis and determine if the ray action upon provocation. -laughs- so what if it did? so what if it didnt? Made me get the impression tht the police were trying to make it out like some deep not-s0-simple murder case. how unfair. If some unknown was in place of steve i bet they would swiftly and simply classify his death as an accident. Investigation.. hah.

That animal lover may have been some cool great awesome person but frm the what i saw in his stupid show, i always thot of him as a fag. With him doing those crazy ass stunts and everything, bet he must have thought he could cheat death. I wonder if there was ever a time, did he ever think, even a short casual thought that he was immortal. mmf. guess not.

Its shallow how some people talk about their 2nd degree famous friends as though they had been friends for life when in fact, they're just (maybe barely) fair weathered friends. sillysss.


{ 2:57 AM }

Ttskk tskk. our dear country likes to set weird records..no wait.. people like to set weird whacky out of the world records, just to have their name printed in font <10 in some stupid book.

carrie chong is giving a crash course on head banging. like Gee, i didnt noe there were so many variations to head banging but then again like d-uh . As the name suggests, its just banging ur head, be in left right center back , whilst standing, sitting , semi-squatting, thumping ur hand or whatevver. haha interesting nontheless.

mmf..studied with mel at macs. this deranged old hag kept peering at my math solutions and mumbling to herself. she seems frustrated. I know i'm not exeptionally good at math but that doesnt give her the right to do that! -laughs- i felt like whacking her flat in her face with my fooldscap pad. THUMP. hahaha i can almost hear the sound.

and guess who i saw. -silly grin- cheryll sawww huttchhhhhh. down at the ulu secluded place or singapore where not many has heard of. cheryl couldnt stp fantasizing. (:(:(:
{ 8:28 AM }

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck shit fuck. where do i begin. what do i say. my mind's a blank. what the FUCK Did i just do?? i need someone to verify my feelings. Actually, i need someone to tell me what to feel and how to react cos i have no fucking idea how. omg omg omg omg CALM DOWN!!!

anw,the drama perf was quite good. i only liked those abstract scenes. ha

went sentosa todae, without getting wet. without getting dark. -throws on party hat and sprinkles confetti- celebrateeeee. see, i chose to arrive after they were done playing in the salty sea and sandy sand and everything. so yar.

hmm. found out everyone is deranged in their own little wayy. esp vance. but its cool. cos i duu it tuu. sigh whatever

misunderstood
{ 7:53 AM }

There are bullet holes where compassion used to be

Hanabanana Choo Wei Chen Ben Fong Nick Gary

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