hahahaha she's so guna slap me for putting it up. WHO ASK U NEVER TAG ME. hmpf. so we sat in the middle of the court, surrounded by cadburys. We couldnt find a seat at first so i decided to share a seat with this nice ah ma..who was sitting by herself. thought we could squeeze in. thn mel pulled me away. -laughs- right choice, cos we were laughing so loud, i think we would've scared her away. i liked the weather, it was dark and breezy and i was sitting there with my best friend catching up on stuff..i always laugh so much with her.

hmm hectic day..i plan to sleep alot tonight.

i thought of you, i'm glad to say i've stopped feeling for u. the world is round, we'll meet again someday.

{ 9:08 AM }

Life is like the stem of a rose; littered with thorns . I wish i could pluck out all the thorns at once, cos it sucks to get pricked over and over again , knowing there's nothing you can do. Right now, i feel like picking out the little pricks on the stem , grounding them into a pulvarised pulp. pppfffttttt.

Its just so fucking irritating when things dont go smooothly. things always fuck up and i hate it. HATE it. absolutely detest it. I guess the only thing to do is adapt and deal with it. But in the process, i think i have the right to complain.

maybe thats why i have a problem with thrust because as soon as the person lets me down , he/she gets classified into the catagory of ' just like the others'. -laughs- prove me wrong thn.
{ 5:43 AM }

My eyes muscles are horribly spoilt . I dont reckon i strained my eye too much today and yet they sting. I'm not tired, i'm not sleepy but my lids weigh a ton . odd .

I was watching teevee with my mom when she derided western culture for being open. " ..unlike us who keep it all in. that's so much better " Excuse me? Coming from a society which is relatively open, i find myself asphyxiated by the need to keep my emotions to myself. I cannot imagine why she prefers to stifle self expression . doesnt she feel suffocated at all? i sure as hell do. what is wrong with her. felt like screaming at her. but i kept it all in. * i'd scream into my pillow but i'm too tired. cant be arsed to reach for one. The only thing constant in life is change. I dont understand why is it so hard for the old to adapt. Esp among a conservative society. whts with the respect and age and everything. Did education teach me to rebel? because one thing i've learnt from it is that any idea/opinion can be debunked. sillys.

I have no faith in liviing into my twilight years. I dont see myself wrinkly and sixty. I see myself burried six feet under by 40. max. or maybe thirty. Why must i live thru life? ( not that i'm angry at anything at e mo) ok. ignore taht. ppl will blast me with the religion and the ethics .

and please dont talk to me again. your snide remarks are pushing me to the limit. wake up. nobody likes you. besides maybe your fake friends. -shrug-

i'm tired , irritated and restless. I dont feel like doing anything yet irritated with myself for not doing anything even tho i dont feel like doing anything.
{ 7:15 AM }

Mmf. Everytime i want to blog, i end up chatting. Even as i type, i am engaged in five conversations. maybe thats why my entries are so scattered and random and surface.

I think the choker is cursed. Ever since i started wearing it, bad luck have seemed to be bestowed on me. I get maligned and yelled at for no apparant reason by people with grotesque features. In times like these..i get its best to grit my teeth and not jump them. But its hard , so i end up making the same mistake by snapping back. even if its just a simple retort, which ironically has the tremendous ability to further infuriate . Despite the ill fortunes it brings, i still loike my choker..i wonder if i should wear it tmr..maybe not. -cringe-

Dad's coming back tmr. i wonder if he bought anything..damn shud have told him to get a tamagochi for me. hurhurhur.

OHHH WE'RE HALF WAY THERE
OHHH LIVING ON A PRAYER
OHHHH

what a good karaoke song
{ 7:52 AM }

Plauged by certain things..this random thought surfaced : what if everyone was completely honest with one another? myopically, there might be a sure escalation of bitch fights but on a larger scale, more violence? i dont know. haha random thought. i shall not dwell on random thought.

I wish i had the courage to be completely honest . Although it does have the potential of being suicidal . Grr there's so much things i need to say, but all those words just get choked up in my larynx. maybe i have too much to say . hur.

stupid mel. read my blog thn nehh tag.
{ 7:43 AM }

sigh. what did i just d0.
{ 9:25 AM }

Like mint on skin
A cooling sensation
That runs like fire beneath

Perhaps one day i will relish when i have the right to lash out at my kin with impunity. It must be absolutely satisfying when whatever u say is the rule of thumb and whatever u demand is obeyed. I cannot wait to see the other side of the fight, i cannot wait to watch the hurt and anger on my child's face as she grits her teeth and accepts my false accusations . SiGh

LIATE.
Love Is Actually a Terrible Experience.
{ 8:28 AM }

You're all i want but not like this.
I'm watching you disappear
But you were never here
{ 7:25 AM }

dsfhjdkhwhetheru'reabrotherasdfjdwhetheru'eamotheru'restayinalivestayinalive -grinn- my virgin kareoke session!

Everything happens for a reason-things may turn out the exact opposite from what you wud have prefered , but to me, i believe that things could have gotten worse. Sucks..but i try to make a best of things. Its hard to believe myself. really hard. In a sense i want to maintain the distance, the ideal in my mind. Like a dwarf pushing against a sheer wall, i want to seperate fact from fiction. yes..the ideal. BOO.

I was in one of the shops at penny, browsing thru stuff when the owner, in a futile attempt to break the ice asked " so, which one do u like?" I was almost embarrassed to give a sheepish ' err none?" reply.

I know this guy..lets call him thickhead. Though i am on good terms with him, i wouldnt call him my friend because i'd never have a MCP as a friend, who has no regards for women whatsoever. Talking to him aggrevates me because i find him tremendously fugly , repugnant and abhorrent. He makes me nauseas. Hence i dont think he's my friend. perhaps..aquaintence wud be more apt . In light of his disgusting behaviour however, he shall degenerate to the post of..not being related to me in anyway whatsoever. gahH. He's the very model of a thickheaded egoisitc bastard who takes pride in his bumpy life and manipulates it to appear like some...idiot. bigot! whatevver. Never once have a lashed out at him thought, cos i find it a waste of time. For a person, whose ears is so clogged up with ego, no one can get thru to him. Grr

{ 9:12 AM }

The word rage always reminds me of Sanitatrium. not the orginal but a rendition by Limp. Its..more up beat. :D

Hung out with the usual group of people after school . We went bowling at marina before chilling at Esplanaduu. mmf..*grumbles* i broke my nail. shatterd. anyways i jacked myself by playing truth or dare. And the guys being the guys started probing and probing..i felt as tho i was being prodded with a rod. hah. i didnt mind telling them who i likeD because..its past. Thats just for the record. whateverrr. Started thinking about him again ..alot. Gosh it pisses me so. I felt chatty at night but didnt know who to talk to, i gave up soon after cos i gathered that i was too tired grumpy grouchy to conduct a decent conversation with anyone...without snapping.
{ 8:15 AM }

I am thoroughly insulted, flabberghasted and repulsed at what happened this afternoon at taka. The group of us were hanging around at the short flight of stairs facing the merritus mandarin. I wouldnt say we were obstructing the pathway because we were standing at the side of the stairs, and i was making my way down the stairs when this haughtly min..( oops. no degratory racist names condoned) with the arrogance of a pig gave me the rich-bitch diva-esque ' excuse me' tone. pardon me but which facet of life , other than the ginormous size of ur breasts and overly fucked rancid cunt suggests that u are any better than me? or even permits u to act like u are above me for that matter. Shopping? no way. I think that heading to work would be..more likely. If u think this sounds arrogant then u should have seen her. Her nose was so high up in the air, any higher and the sun would have burned her charred face ( which was so overly artifically pink btw) -rolled eyes- I feel so..maligned!

I kind of dread going out with the classs at times, because i know that even though the guys are quite okay with anything, some arent and is kinda pisses me off. There they are asking repeatedly about the destination and yet when suggestions are thrown to them they object. like since u ppl are the one's not okay with anything, thn its okay right that u make the decisions because there's no point saying that u're okay with anything when u're really not. It adds to the frustration. I hate walking around town aimlessly . I hate walking to somewhere only to receive objections when we've reached there, and make another trip to some place else. grrr i dont get it!
{ 7:01 AM }

I think i'm a worry-wart. I think too much and have seeminly forgotten how to enjoy to the fullest. And though i do relax and take time off, i'm never a hundred percent relax..and i think that has taken a toll on my strife to do things, end up doing work half heartedly. Worse of all, i end up being some lifeless void packed with ( haha irony) the dull boring odious emotions . GaHh. Then again, maybe i'm just planning ahead. That isnt so bad is it. OKayy i've established that if doing so afflicts my well being and my health ( haw haw not yet) thn i think its bad. =s whatever . i dont even noe where i'm going with this.

I think i have insomnia. I hate school days because i have to sleep early and i have trouble sleeping early and that ultimately affects my mood because i love sleeping and i hate not having enough sleep. ITs strange how i have no problems snoozing the afternoon away but when it comes to night, my brain refuses to shut it. hurh. afternoon naps are evil. loL
{ 7:40 AM }

photography by mark.

I was feeling down enough when my mother just had to come in and berate me for staying up late. I guess she means well but i hate it. i hate how she loves me so much. I fucking hate it. irony. But its farktarded. She says i need rest because i look increasingly worn out. well blame it on the fucking education system thn. I sure as hell didnt choose to be stuck in this rut.
{ 8:13 AM }

There are bullet holes where compassion used to be

Hanabanana Choo Wei Chen Ben Fong Nick Gary

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