Friday, June 29, 2007
i busted 200 bucks on fun. For the non-existant june holidays, life sucking period of intense revison, sad eight hour sleeps ( the minimum duration of rest during the holidays has been set at 10 hours, by myself of course). Now tht e bio ppl have finished their paper earliest, we have like a week of ' holidays' . So far, i only spent one day sleeping. i shud spend more days sleeping. like hybernate this entire week. haha naw.
Rushed out of house to meet nise for some last minute shpping before catching transformers for our ad-hoc class outing, where less thn half the class went. but it was enjoyable. I like hang out with my classmates out of the restrictive blue uniform. Hmm, yeah i like to hang with them as myself . If u get my meaning.
Nise and i were supposed to have like a pretty pretty lazy, wake up late, take ur time to dress up, meet girlfriend in town and shop kinda day. BUT we ended up having a wake up early for cip, sweaty, hot, smelly tired, bird shit, smell of shit, bossy old lady, cutting potatos with cockroaches, extrmely tiring kind of day.
ok. byebye
{ 8:08 AM }
Thursday, June 28, 2007
you sexy thing
I'm trying to put this in the most politically right way but..cant really be bothered. shall be blatant under the pretext of the rightful ownership of my blog and hence the freedom of expression. Cant stand how his family nags at him to sleep and stuff . Gosh its just sleep and homework. and i think he's old enuff to know how to balance all that out. [ hurr. but still, he's old enuff] . its such a ..annoyance. but he's able to tolerate. so kudos to you. but if i were him, well, everyone knows what i'd do. In fact, i find it a little disrespectful. and insulting. Like err i'm 18 and u dont even trust me to take care of my own health. yak yak yak yak. shut up lah. irritating.
Caught transformers. nice show. worth it. He sorta bitched about not waiting to catch it with him [dont know if he was seerious]. gosh i wasnt even planning to watch it. Nise and i were extremely reluctant, even during the movie. but it was good. But i thought to myself, he's done the same to me before, so i guess its not that bad. Didnt feel that guilty. Thn he (jokingly) bitched to his mom about it. And i thought ; gosh how childissh can you get. Rolled my eyes at the other end of the phone. I have a sense of humour but..err.. whats so funny? -shrug-
Goes on and on about the girl from paramore all the time. once or twice is okay but its getting sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo irritating. next time just go fuck her picture okay? s00o0o0o obsessed.
" dear can u dress like this. dear can u be like that"
hmm. dear can you fit ur lazy arse into cooler outfits? Considering you want me to dress like that too.
Felt good to shop with a girl for like..so long. I can pick and choose outfits and wear them without having to hesitate , or be subjected to ews and stuff. yipee.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
I guess we're not going on that date anymore..its replaced with dinner with his friends. HAH. hmmm how do i feel about that. pretty much indifference. I have nothing against spending time with him and his friends, quite enjoyable actually. oh well, when u get used to it, you get used to it. Much better compared to a couple of years ago when
i was the odd one out. He'd walk along with them cos ( supposedly) he didnt have to balls to talk to me. or something. Golly, wondered why i continued to subject myself to such treatment . Ha.
My writing style should convey the message that i'm horridly tired.
I was mad aat him (again) for making me call a gazillion times before he finally awoke from his extremely deep slumber. Holding the phone to my ear with a frown on my face. Then in his sweetest most forced cute tone he apologized. fucking hell i just smiled. right there and then . all that anger and animosity just flew out the window that instant.
i felt so silly. sorrie?
Crashed his place later in the day. I had it all planned. I'd go to his place, i'd have a refreshing shower and SLEEP. and i wouldnt care what he does, not even if he played dota. which he did and i was fine with it. HAHA.
i heard a whole load of nice fancy cool shit bands are heading our way. they should hold it at small venues. i prefer those to huge concerts. at least..there's no need to fight for the front. cos even if u're at the back u can still see the performers
Even though he didnt blame me for it, ( i think i dont deserve blame either) i feeel bad for not helping him do his hw before his dateline. he didnt tell me anything about the dateline and i was waitin to clearify smth before i cud start..so yeah. dammit. i love writing.
The ride home alone was..tiring. I didnt want him to take the bus with me..so time consuming and i bet he'd prefer to spendthe time sleeping and shit ( secretly hoping u'll tell me the opposite)
I ran from taka to train station for you. lol
you taught me endurance. I'm still learning. i need you to be patient. I'm not the most angelic being with a pussy and breasts. Control ; distance and endurance.
I'd do the stupidest thing for you
{ 9:32 AM }
Monday, June 25, 2007
arent they beautiful? they're beautiful.
In my opinion, linkin parked started to sour right after their Hybrid theory album. I wish they'd gone back to their roots. stop experimenting already. i have yet to listen to their new album. overplayed. [ *types as chester screams at the back*
I feel so relexed. I dont think i should feel relaxed. A sign of complacency that will only have disasterous results.
golly. waht should i do tmr, weds, thurs friday and the remaining holidays.
He's taking me out on our
first real date on this weekend. Cant say i'm not exciting. kinda funnie actually. we've never really dated cos he didnt have the balls to ask me. It was more of just..hanging out and extremely awkward bashful moments. i wonder where' he'll take me to. i dont htink i shud set my hopes so high.Actually, i just feel like sitting somewhere with him .
hang out.
{ 6:41 AM }
Friday, June 22, 2007
I feel weirdd. This week has been so turbulent, emotionally. Its like i woke up one day unable to breathe without him. Idealistically..its as sweet as sin. But throw this into the practical world and disaster erupts. I had to have him by my side 24-7 . Being alone made me jittery and apprehensive. It must be the thousand fucks. cos i cannot thnk of anything else. ha.actually, i think its my period.Thankfully he was patient and there for me thru it all. I can be such a bother.
when he said he loved me first i saw fireworks in my mind.
Then he left and i felt so weird. I told myself that i have to get myself together and..be less of a bother . I'll try.
when the bunch met up last week vanx asked how things were between me and him..considering how i told her, when we last met, that i felt unconfident and reluctant about us. I paused for a moment,
now i cant live without him. but somehow all said was ' we're fine'. Right cos she saw my wrist.
Distance. cheryl. rmb. distance. I need to keep my distance.
I don’t mind you keeping me on pins and needles.
If I could stick to you,
and you could stick me too.{ 9:29 AM }
Sunday, June 17, 2007
In a short span of 2 days. so much happened so fast. A little hard to come to terms though the regret and guilt , if expressed, will sound overly in self pity , fake perhaps.
I'm sorry.
Then the next day, this happened. Alot. and i've got a throbbing headache because of it.
i love you.
When u kissed me just now, it was all jelly again. god we're so messed up
Friday, June 15, 2007
ZOMG!!! I WENT OUT WITH DEAR1!!!!! FINALLY!! like after so fucking long. but she always has to leave early. i miss her. thats her. i love her. i wish we had more time to catch up and shit. could tell she was reluctant to go. quick quick. get ur PR and stay here. and... good luck reporting for NS tmr. hee.
please visit sheila's blog for more retarded pictures.
Outing with the old bunch was like any other outing with the old bunch. started of okay..thn it got bad ( i was feeling ike shit cos father didnt let me stay over at his place. fucker. u're a fucker. hyprocrite. so what if he screws me. SO WHAT? ) ps/ dont you ppl dare judge me because u have no idea whats gg on.
anyho0..my heels , which were surprisingly comfy for their erm..height, were kinda killing me. ( tho i lasted longer than most ppl wud have in those hooker heels. walked two and fro from far east to cine THRICE) i was unwilling to head home, but i had no where else to go. wanted to drink but it wasnt worth it. I'm not exactly into paying to feel more depressed with a shot of temporary euphoria. so yes. headed for the busstop with SC and khai when.. WE SPOTTED NOISE AND CROWD !!!!! the hilarity of seeing khai rearing to rush into the crowd, despite his lack of knowledge of the band or the song and tt he was the only one there, as well as seeing him "moooving" arnd in the mosh pit pretty much lifted my spirits ah and the anguish of not being able to join him because i was so fucking wearing the wrong attire. ie. heels and um clothes that showed enuff skin to get gropped more than wearing a shirt and um yah. Gee. bt it was fun while it lasted . the band was quite good too. wondered if jerk was there. this is so his hting. Not that i looked forward to seeing him.
so yah. chased away the gloom thru living life vicariously ( yes. use that for ur GP sha!). i'm so tired. shall call my baby now. i want him to cook for me tmr. i think he ows me...fucker. :D
{ 8:56 AM }
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
I went jogging this morning, before heading over to his place. Its been a while since i went jogging in the morning. Although the reason why i felt exhausted at an unusually premature time of my jog can be attributed to the mere 6 hours ( NO ITS NOT ENUFF) of sleep i had the prev night, i was rahter perturbed by it cos i felt a more dire situation taking root; that i'm losing my drive to..do things that i have to do. Like.. my revision for example. Beeen slacking alot.
I had intended to study over at dear's place but we ended up doing..something else. something..synonymous with..having nothing to do with work. hahaha lazed around. watched teevee. lazed around. His room induces people to sleep. okok, so todae wasnt that futile. i did manage to do what i'm supposed to do..but it was kinda rushed so i'm quite unhappy about that. ok. i shall make up for it tmr morning. tho i told myself to do it tonight. Came up with the irrelevant, unquantifiable pretext that i was too tired. yeah. but having enuff energy to catch another ep of miami ink and blog.
Ate alot. fucckk.
i miss mommy. Hope she's fine.
I love catsssssssssss.
{ 9:05 AM }
Saturday, June 09, 2007
my internet connection is fuct. i shud call that service guy soon. I went over to his place today. Though i'd make an effort for all the times he travelled to mine. I had intended to do my work while he did his but i shud have known we cud never study tog in the same room. Libraries are different. well almost the same but different. he he. n e ways, we ended up watching this fucking sick gory movie titled ' Feast' . its a fucking gory move thn sorta pissed me off. The story line is shit. barely 30 mins into the show and people's legs were cut off. blood was splurting everywhere. oh the beheaded, the amputated . e v e r y fucking thing. and the one scene that stuck to my head was that off that bastard whu got puked on by the monster ( whu came out of no where, whu looked like aliens, who had a gesticulation period of urrr a few mintues, whu had a long dick, whu's fucking horny)slob!!! total slobb! gross~
After movie, headed to the mall nearby to get some food supplies. WE COOKED! my oh my. it was delicious! the soup and the chicken breast zomg. i had intended to take a pic of it but we forgot. hurr. only rememberd after we finished everything. orgasmic
The fucking jam on the way home made me jittery. or anxious. i dont know how exactly to describe the feeling. Its something ike..being confined.. and to feel so desperate for the situation to be amelliorated. Its not so much of being stifled as to being..i dont know.. hurried?
i love the cats under his block. so pretty.
That's mr i'm-so-fat-i-dont-even-bother..abot anything. he's cute. and heavy. and appears barely bothered most of the time. haha ok the pic can go 2 ways, either he's humungous or that i have short legs. i was trying to show how he's HUGE. oh well.
{ 9:50 AM }
Friday, June 08, 2007
Falling ill. Thats just half of what i used in the approximately..4 hours in the library. Gosh its freezing in there. they should turn up the temperature.
Its amazing. I think i shud eschew from the library for a while. its quiet and everything, without any distractions. But the temperature impairs my brain. ( Even tho i still get my work done). At first i thought all that sutdying was gg down the drain but i was so amazed with myself that i could recall most of what i studied when i got home. Amazing. whateverr
It seems that he and i are on bad terms lately ( i was reading past entries). On the contrary, we're quite good actually. I've more or less learnt to control my emotions. yeah i get stressed but i THINK i am doing better at not venting it on him. Times like this i should really spend time with myself. sleep wud be the best panacea.
I feel a little bad for not attending the class bbq. i wud love to be there. burnt chicken wings and everything.Instead i took a raincheck and headed for home. loser. i know. But i didnt wanna make my mom mad. i knew she wud be. she has this thing about knowin gmy limits. so yeah. I thought i was guna be rewarded with some cold packed food but NOOO she cooked! i miss my mother's cooking dearly and she cooked! fucking yummy i tell u
i wonder if i'm guna be a good cook when i become a mother ( i hope not anytime soon).
{ 9:23 AM }
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
I'm so disappointed in my mother. sigh. i hope you know what you're doing. I was talking to him halfway thn i sudd i didnt feel ike talking . love you
why do people change. why why why. For the worse. why do people degenerate into less favourable beings thn they already are. sad. I liked you better before u became like that. now u're just disgusting. i dont wanna be near you.
there's somthing it my closet. i hear it ruffling/flying around.
sigh..i just...have no mood to do anything. I'm angry. i was angry.
{ 9:17 AM }
Sunday, June 03, 2007
fuck party girls. seriously. ok no. nothing wrong with them. fuck party girls who go gigs and think that people are not supposed to mosh or jump around or whatever. yeah like we're supposed to stand upright and still and appreciate music. if that is ur perspective thn u shud be at esp or something. go away.
I was with the crowd when i accidentally bumped into this party girl. Taking full advantage of her boyfriend's presence she punched my arm like a petulant kid and whined " dont pushh" fucking cheebye.Not that it hurt or anything lah. But knn, who the fuck are u .
thn the crowd when in my direction so i took full advantage of the situation as well and pulled her in and started letting my limbs fly everywhere. admist the loud music i heard her cry ouchh. YESSSSS. stupid bitch
and like everywhere there're girls complaining . " he's such a fucker he stepped in my feet" like pls lah. who the fuck wants to step on ur royal and probably fungus infected feet? you should have known better when u chose to wear flip flops.
rrr and i cant stand prancers . they were like linking hands and jumping around. ho ho ho merry go round. RARH
Aside from such irritable moments, i say the whole thing was rather...lousy. ouhmigawd the whole opening bands shit took ike 3 fucking hours. 3 FUCKING HOURS. not that the bands were lousy.to me, these typov music need chairs because its not exactly the kinds u can jump around with. 10 mins break ( who needs it?), 30 mins sound check for both copeland and anberlin (wtf?)
dear got punched. lost his shoe twice ( har har har) but the no. of times he accidentally " grazed girl's boobies made up for it i guess. dont u fucking deny it . hurr. Nick lost his glasses (again). tara ( i think thats her name) puked on a guy. awesome. and I..got hit by a stupid fuckng party girl. OH! I GOT BOOBED TOO!
hmm. i love you. He slept on my lap in the cab we took on the way home. i love stroking his hair cos its so smooth. i love watching him sleep . i dont really have qualms about him lying on me most of the time. its nice. just like craddling a baby. har har. I'm so sorry i scratched u so many times today. other girls are NOT pretty. i dont care. and my boobs feel the nicest. I DONT CARE. and if they look at you they can look all they want cos you're with me. fuckahs.
ps; i bet you feel damn shiok now.
{ 9:27 AM }
