so i've been mia-ing quite abit. lets start with Audrey's awesome costume/helloween party that HANA AND I THREW FOR HER. I felt a little angry when things did not go on as planned. I honestly did not forsee that major hiccup to take place. but it did. and when it did, everyone deserves a happy drink.. so we drank.. and drank..and got wasted. hahaha nathan , roy, boyfriend and yours truly were extremely wasted.. to the point tt i passed out in my bra and underwear beside the pool, while roy..HHAHAHA. To cut things short, alot of shit happened lah. not in a bad sense. just bizzare and amusing. extremely amusing.

now on to the arts camp.
Party was on saturday. Woke up Sunday morning, tired as hell. took a trip to town to watch the boyfriend play before watching Zohan with hana. Came back at around ten only to find out that i have a 5d4n camp ahead of me the next day. Rushed to borrow contacts ( yes i borrowed em because stupid me threw my last pair away tt druken night) from the best friend, and pack.

i reckon the first day was exhausting . It was seorusly fun filled games for the ENTIRE day. Oddly enough, though i only had a max of 4 hours of sleep for the next few nights i managed to get thru each day.

Had fun rushing for the bathing cubicles.

Hated my period when it came but i guess i'd rather bear shit now thn to have a bleeding pussy on saturday.

omg there's just so much to write about. Like how i totally embarassed myself at the beginning and omg and how i got pushed onto the dancefloor. thank joel/david ( cant rmb who bot the jugs) of vod orange ( if i'm not wrong). or else i wudnt have the guts to dance in front of everyone . GOODNESS..

So after camp ended on friday, instead of rushing home to sleep like everyone else, i hung out with boyfie at vivo. I suggested lying at the outdoor area outside vivo to look up at the night sky and all. romantic2. haha little did i know tt i'd fall asleep! pffttt

Then Saturday came. HAHAHHAHA I HAD THE FUN-EST BEST-EST MAH JIONG SESSION EVER LORHZXCZZXCZ. i totally didnt expect so many ppl to be there . there were clement and his friends, li ting and her friends, BEN FONG and his huge friends , shi jie and his awesomely cool sergeant and friends,ooh and bumped into sharmaine and her friends as well OH AND MATTHEW AND KARINA WHO CAME FROM MOS . and i did not puke. and hana got high before me ( hahahaha i'm so proud of myself).

Said some things that i didnt mean. Regretted not bring my cam. everyone looked so hot tt night!!
{ 7:24 AM }

Choo Eats Flowers says:
i love u more than ever lei

*Neversweet 'Epicurean' mommys-lil-monster.blogspot.com says:
huh

*Neversweet 'Epicurean' mommys-lil-monster.blogspot.com says:
really?

Choo Eats Flowers says:
u stupid bitch
{ 9:41 AM }

Sad lonely and..depressed? omg i nid a cig. omg i nid to drink omg i feel like... omg maybe i just need you.

anyways moses said i look younger. like omigod i'm so flattered like really? hahahaha was very happy with tt complimenT.

{ 1:14 PM }

I think everyone has a song that they absolutely love; an all time favourite song that never grows old, never grows dreary. That one song that you can listen on repeat for hours at any time of the day. You can be lying awake at 3am in the morning or standing in the crowded stinky peak hour train, just lay/stand there, strare into space/with ur eyes closed, and let the lyrics flow through your ears like a melody, letting the music tip toe genteely on your thoughts or nostalgic memory that accompanies the song. Or or you could be at a concert or a gig and the first few seconds of the song emanate from the speakers, and it sparks sth in you. something that makes you jump and punch ur fist into the air and sing at the top of your lungs admist the screaming crowd , as if it were your battle cry.

I was reading ( too embarrassed to say what) and it came into my head. I searched my ipod for it but it wasnt inside. so i got my lazy ass up to dig up the CD( OMG) which had that song. and i found it and i put it into the player . I get that craving sometimes, when a song just enters my mind and i HAVE to listen to it.


{ 12:02 PM }

Last night saw me having dinner with talisha before delivering dinner to best friend's place and hanging out a little. Her room is beyond messy. Left for boyfriend's house slightly before midnight because i didnt want to go home and Den wanted to ' sleep early' . Got a message later from her tt she was off to somebody's place. HA. Everything fell into place in the end. (:

Had a horrible night at his place. The air conditioning was fucked, i was coughing all night, and i was SWEATING. GOODNESS. Fell asleep shortly before dawn arrived in the most cortorted position ever. I dont think anyone can ever sleep in an 'organised' postion in his bed. there are like pillows and shit all around and i dunno. i just fall asleep naturally, no matter what. I rmb his mom coming into the room and i rmb lying in the most contorted postion and being too tired to care because i was so fucking tired. Fucked at night, fucked when we woke up. I guess we're back . hahahahaha BUT MY LIBIDO IS STILL LOW AS EVER I DUNNO WHATS WRONG WITH ME.

Stayed up, even after boyfrie was in sweet slumber ( and tt means snoring and curled up in a corner), thinking about it. But all hypotheisis were discarded out window when i found myself missing him immensely on the way home. i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him.
{ 7:43 AM }

Omg i just saw the list of thigns i have to bring for the camp , and on tt list is ' one set of clubbing attire'. HAHA LOVIN IT!! now the thing is, should i bring ..ok ithink i noe what to bring. laughs
{ 7:12 AM }

I just wrote a para of shit down and deleted is without a second's hesitation because i was irritated with the fucking radio. WHY must they play happy songs 24/7. I had my fingers on the keyboard, i had my brain on reflection mode, just waiting..waiting for the right song to put me the right mood. and song after song was filled with lively beats . OMG. i wanted to kick the fucking radio i tell u. rarh.

so anyways. I'm secretly proud with way my brain has been fuctioning of late. and fyi that pertains to the way i handle things..not to my deteriorating memory ( i should stop drinking so much..but yea that resolution only holds so much conviction). Spreaking of which, i feel tt my memory has come to resemble a block of cheese, u noe the ones tt are filled with HOLES. Den just told me about something i did ( at probably a highly intoxicated state) WHICH I HAVE COMPELETLY TO RECOLLECTION OF. I feel like a guy, its not right but i'm damn prooud of it. Finally getting what u guys deserve. assholes. ASSHOLE!!

Oh and i feel fat. its very frustrating.

Boyfriend and i were joking about *. SO funnie lah. hahahaha fun times man fun times.

* : sth tt u DONT want to know. that involes powder lights and his room. hahahahahahahahah and WHITE LIPS. LOLOL LMAO hahahahah fuck

I'm rather annoyed and hurt by this certain someone. I wont say who because i dont want to blow things up or make tt person feel loved . - I thought we were friends. fucker.
{ 9:57 AM }

{ 2:15 AM }

Now i'm sitting here with a blank expression.

I guess..everything fell into place in the end. I've been partying too much too hard too crazy too reckless too selfish too self indulgent too callous. And my throat's being a bitch so i cant drink. And i don't really like Fridays. So ..i guess everything fell into place in the end. I'm not partying tonight. I'M GONNA BE A GOOD GIRL THIS FRIDAY NIGHT BUT TMR IS A DIFFERENT STORY.

I knew it. I was hopeful. But cautiously hopeful as talisha ( hahahha u like me calling u tt dont u) witnessed. I've been in enough hopeful situations to know that one can only get so lucky.

I ...miss my boyfriend.
{ 4:01 AM }

hello world, my mother gave me five hundred dollahs for fun this morning. So i went for a Hollywood, and a pedicure. Accompanied talisha for a hairfix in the afternoon, after lunching together. I love her. we laughed so loud, at my idiosyncrasies and my life and me. We had a fun time laughing at me. I love her because she knows what a horrible person i am and accept me for who i am.

Met cool kid wei hao in the evening. Bucked at wheelock. I like meeting new people and talking and getting to know new people. He's funnie but i dont think he likes me. because he sorta knows what a horrible person i am. Made our way to acid bar to say hi to talisha and her pretty friends before belting for alley cos acid was simply too noisy. ordered apple martinis and gave it to talisha because my throat was being a bitch. Munched on fries but stopped because i felt nauseas. Went home after talisha left because i dont know, cos i needed to get home eventually but if not for my fatigue and my mother i wud sit there all night. cabbed home

tired.
sad.
sigh.

fuck me
{ 10:48 AM }

Its been a while since we last had a good fuck. I dunno what but my libido and mojo died. But it came back tonight. I think i need to feel shitty to give good sex. because when i feel like what i feel now, i feel like being hurt and violated and that means he can do wahatever he wants with me and have me enjoy every single moment of it.
{ 10:27 AM }

"Take things where you want them to go, whether anyone else is on board or not"

hmmmm.
{ 10:55 AM }

this is why this is WHY i'm unhappy and do what i do. and this is WHY i can never do what i want to do. Go on and cry. no one's guna hear u.
{ 10:13 AM }

Sometimes, i think the media make a fuss out of simple pragmatic things. I think political apathy in sg is..not that big of a deal. ok yes, it is important but WHO'S TO BLAME. I watch the news but i rarely tune in to local news. Its not that i dont give a damn, its just tt everytime i give a damn i find myself getting very frustrated. so whats the most logical and realistic solution? CHANEL OUT THE BAD CHI , so i dont have to get mad at things that are not worth getting angry about because getting angry will not solve anything and since we all know change is RATHER( HAHA) impossible, i guess the most viable option is to CHANEL OUT THE BAD CHI.

I was reading the review section of the straits times ytd and i actually laugh out loud. A disgruntled mother actually wrote a complaint letter about NUS, guising it under the title
does nus still pref muggers'. I found the heading extremely interesting, but upon reading the content, i realised it was nothing more thn her venting out her frustration at the university for not choosing her son whu scored Bs and Cs while others with the same grades got in. Guess what mother? SHIT HAPPENS. i'm serious. shit happens. life is unfair like tt. and by bringing up the fact tt nus accepts other Bs and Cs holders, she has unknowingly negated the point of her main assertion ( which is tt nus only takes in muggers). haiyoh this kind of things also want to post. -.-lll

AND AND coincidentally enough, someone wrote a letter full of praise for lky and his government. As i read on, i began to get very suspicious. and thn the provenance gave it away- it was from a member of the PAP. I cannot believe tt he expects us to accept the current form of democracy BECAUSE we owe it to the minister mentor!! brainwashed much?? prepostrous!! Our neighbour Suharto did much for indon, he played key role in helping indon gain indpt and grow economically. So using the same argument , are u saying tt the ppl of indon should not have rose up against him and even forgive him for being one of the world's most corrupt leaders??? What an argument man what an argument!!!!! i cannot believe they actually post this up as well!! He could have conveyed his point in a much much MUCH better way.

this is why. i avoid being an informed citizen. I get angry. for nothing.

oh and i think i know why i wasnt feeling ed banger. I think it was because of my mild intoxicated state. HAH :D
{ 11:46 PM }

{ 7:49 AM }

{ 7:50 AM }

{ 8:30 AM }

There are bullet holes where compassion used to be

Hanabanana Choo Wei Chen Ben Fong Nick Gary

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