Friday, March 31, 2006
Even though i'm not a kid anymore, i still get scared when my parents yell at each other. They were doing it a while ago. i closed the door and blasted music till my ears bleed. In this case..ignorance is bliss. If i had it my way, i'd rather have both of them vent their anger on me thn at each other.

i sat beside this inexorably rotund chinky nutty professor lukalike on 966 aft sch. i looked at his puffy hands and circular stature and felt a disgusting urge to lie on him cos he looked so bean-bag material. but thn i feared that i wud lose myself and saffocate under the 'fluidity' of this human bean bag. so i diverted my attn to denise instead. -chuckles-

cheryl loves waffles

i've been feeling down and moody lately..i wonder if its becos of the dream i had 2 nights ago. its not some big tragic dream and he was onli in it for like a split second. whateverrr. this leads me to qn myself if i have gotten over him. cos i believe, that if i ever see him , i wud hurl.

{ 6:12 AM }

Saturday, March 25, 2006
It seems like i cant live without my ipod of late. With the introduction of a new essential tuh my life, comes more hassles. Like..the need to bring a slightly larger bag when i shop ( yes i do shop lah. lols) or charging the stupid thing regularly. Right now, whenever i make my way home or to meet a friend, i feel weird not being in a world of noise.

I felt so studious in the train. Instead of dozing of like denise (ehehehe) , i was reading a book. yes. in the train! allow me to gloat. i have never done it. at least, not that i remember? well, its The curious incident of the dog at night. i think. that book that annie tan was gg on and on and on about last year. yeah. i know i'm lagging like abit but hey, at least i got arnd to reading it right? heh.

Queen of the Damned like totally kix ass. -laughs- its my favourite movie i think. because i cud watch it like a thousand times and not get sick of it. i still remember vividly back in the teen bobber ( i am almost embarassed to admit) den and mel and i decided to watch that silly britney movie instead . tsk tsk! -shake head-

we're gg kbox to celeb my birthday. wwwwwwwwwaahhhhh whheeeeeeee lmfao

{ 1:58 AM }

Friday, March 24, 2006
I hate jamie yeo's voice. anyway. haha i hate quiet nights . it irritates me. the silence ..how it makes the slightest noise audible. Like .. the sound of dishes being washed at the block opp mine . where teh fuck is everyone.. all my dl-ing sources arent online. BAH. -sulk-

I dont like lok. there's something about her that pisses me off. -shrug- maybe its the way her tummy tests the generosity of her pants, maybe its the way she speaks , maybe its her red specs , maybe its just the fucking way she luks like tang ( prev dm). Gee, i feel like slapping her e v e r y time. I dont like the way she reasons..nor do i like the way she checks my attire. so secondary sch. -shudders- i had enuff off that.

i was about to go on about how i hate this girl when i realise that it wud be the third consecutive hate. oh forget it. whatever. i hate how i'm feeling so vexed. worse still, i hate the fact that i dont know why i'm so fucking aggitated at 'nothing'

{ 4:24 AM }

Tuesday, March 21, 2006
I hope blogger's werkin. TYped like a whole chunk of precious self-reflection shit and it was all erased.

OH. i just remembered whud i wanted to blog about. hmm. there's this variety show on ch 52, i dont know the title nor the timeslow but it just happens to be on everytime i switch to that chn. sooo yeah, the highlight of this show is this part where the guest gambler makes a decision whether to use a hidden reward as a gambling chip for another game or money instead. Tricky..for the money minded. The host conc tries to tempt the guest to opt for the cash instead cos the rewards tend to be worth more than that. . . and the most of the guests give in. how silly. It only took me 2 episodes to sieve out the signs and their tricks. idiots.

and i love mark's belt. i want something like that. IF i get something like that, i wud so wear it out. it'll be like a compulsory accessory..like..earings or something. so fk-ing nice. hahah O B E Y !

{ 5:58 AM }

Friday, March 17, 2006
MAYBE..i should be as optimistic as sheila. no no...urhs...definately? I'm having qualms about the forthcoming chalet. Why go? when all i feel is out of place . perhaps things will be much more diff..with lien and vanx (hopefully) around.

* At this point of time, sheila is busy boasting to me about her 2 MEGA PIXEL cam phone.

ahem. yes. where were we? oh. the class. Its bad enuff our class is so dispersed, but feeling like an outsider to my closest classmates? now thats bad. -shrug- once again, i shall let baygones be beygones and attribute all this to my fluctuating mood and the horrible weather.

Oh. something to laugh about:
The guys were talking about *censored* being possible
when sheila asked me " Whats possible?"

Dazed, i simply answered " not impossible"

her : Huh?
me : P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E
her : plausible?
me : nooo. poossiiblleee
her : no no! i mean, what where they talking about.

wahahahaha

{ 7:01 AM }

Thursday, March 16, 2006
A little less than 12 hours and i get to see sheila..which means i get to release all stuff thats been bothering me. wheee?? bah whateverrr cher is so fucking crushed . period. Thanks self for the reality check.

What was i thinking? yes. that familar thought.

{ 7:04 AM }

Wednesday, March 15, 2006
For 2 days i dream i was being killed. Not suicide mind you. In the first dream, i was being cornered to an edge on the platform of the mrt station, with spikes pointing at me. Things got a little odd when the spikes began talking to me. hahaha but thn i was still afraid. Okay, the 2nd dream was worse. I was in some damp and dirty public washroom. Was about to take a bath when my muderer attempted to suffocate me with some plastic sheet. i felt betrayed. Guess i knew her or something. But i woke up before i died in my dream.. hurrah? Thn this afternoon..i dreamt that someone was after me.. and i had wings. i flew..and fell . hmm the word crash wud be more apt.

I wonder what all this means.

ooh and i learnt smth : never paint ur nails when u're pms-ing. cos the nails turn out rotten...just like ur mood.

{ 7:03 AM }

Monday, March 13, 2006
Whats ur problem? whats everyone's problem?? Actually, come to think of it..I'm the problem. ahahaha.

know what? My 'shopping' spree with mel only costs $2. like really..NOT. I spent my cash on essentials. =) and i'm not planning to claim frm my momma. such a good daughter i am. It was abit pain staking. I shunned away from the shops and stores i wud normally patronize. See no evil ya? yepP. I dont know why mel chose to go out despite feeling a little more than unwell. I'd stay home if i were her. tsk tsk! so poor thing. But ah, at least i got to hang out with herrr. she made me laugh . like alot.. what with me turning into a bball freak. speaking chinese and everything. fk-ing hilarious.


hmm.. i find it sad when i see people acting like they do..just to try and fit in? and u know they cant make it. i dont know if they know that they cant or they're trying too hard. i guess they dont, or else they wouldnt dress/walk/act like they do. i laugh at them. Openly but discreetly (when i'm nice). Ytd, i saw a guy with a red bandana on his head. not that bandana= posuer. but u can tell, from the air arnd him. that kinda shit. Whats so cool about being cool? Whats so cool about following the crowd? what so cool about being someone you're not?

Does it matter..? In the end, you lot are still dead to me.

{ 5:27 AM }

Sunday, March 12, 2006
I'm letting go - not of anyone but of myself. Then again, i think i already did a long time ago..ever since. I'm too exhausted to get my feet back on the ground, maybe thats why life has been such a drag . ahaha. I just cant be bothered anymore. -nods- How comforting..yeah how fucking deceiving.


If i had a choice, i'd be a bundle of rays so bright and piercing ..tht penatration is impossible. as is this idealistic dream.

" ..become so crude, intolerable and break so many rules that you become indigestable "

ARgh. some people can be so irritating. i DO NOT want to be bothered by u fucker(s). cajoling me into doing stuff that i dont want, using words that pluck nerves just to have things go ur way. Why?! I am nice enuff to kindly reject ur offer and u sting me with ur words. well fuck you. you're no better than me, in fact, u're words. stupid , full of shit and arrogance. I'm telling u now that you suck and everyone knows u suck.
Its always the same. people expect me to be there for them, to comply and assume the submissiveness of a fucking mutt. let me ask u this, why should compromise when u idiots never do? why then shud i be the nice little angel. IF it were up to me (and it is. HEHE), i'd rather be the bad wolf. The former fills me with grievience, the latter makes me miserable. i sae screw it. at least the latter's a winwin situation. u hurt i hurt. that to me is fair.
Would you be my little cut?
Would you be my thousand fucks?

{ 8:05 AM }

Coming Undone
Cher went book shopping with Mr supah un-gentlemanly this afternoon. We were walking around Kino when jy paused thn waved at his friend. I was so prepared to just stand there and watch them talk. You know..the 'extra' effect when suddenly i heard this familar voice exclaim " omg is that cheryl?!?!" I looked up AND IT WASSS HANG!! ahahaha wht a pleasant surprise!

called lien on the way home..she was complaining.. like.. i wasnt even talking la. just listening feeling pleasantly surprised altogether. Ah, the discrepency of views between 2 ppl is just so amusing. Makes u wonder don't it?

{ 3:19 AM }

Saturday, March 11, 2006
Korn does not suck. If they have gotten anything, its better..and funkier, albeit lighter but lyrically dark nontheless. hahaha whatever.

I don't really like it when my parents choose to have dinner with my relatives. Since i'm the only 'kid' there, i'm never a part of their convo, altho i do credit them for trying to involve me. noT that i mind. In fact, i rather have them talking about things that concern them cos once the spotlight's on me. Its nothing but education .

Tonight was no different. universities, jobs, life partner..the usual. -yawn- My uncle gave me a stern warning to make it to U. he went " now that u're in a jc, u better make it to a uni if not u better change " I responded with a polite smile. Deep down i went too late. and thn i wondered if i even had a choice in the first place.

sigh . i hate stupid boy. i hate hate hate stupid boy.

Since I was young
I tasted sorrow on my tongue.
And this sweet jerky gun
Does not protect me
.

{ 8:22 AM }

Friday, March 10, 2006
I wanted you to know
I loved the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high
And steal my pain

Rockafellaaaaaa ..rocked? It was alright..Paddy's band rocked. like totally, they were awesome. they drew the largest crowd and were the first of the bands to attract such an exodus of ppl to the front? Grr, i feel so frustrated not knowing the name of the bands. Makes it harder for me to describe. but ah. forget it. i shant bother. hee.

I felt particularly aggitated the whole time. As luan noted, i wasnt used to sitting down some rock 'concert' . Bloody hell. they should have created this free standing corner. I mean, its rock for goodness sake. Jumping, moshing and crowd surfing is part of the culture. How can the teachers have the students seated so submissively to such music?? you ppl just dont understand. -laughs- but whatever. IT was fun.

i hate my mother. i just hate her.





{ 7:52 AM }

Thursday, March 09, 2006
Cher's sad. grumpy, unenthu, just plainly being a sore the whole goddamm afternoon. Okay, so i didnt t r y to be nice to the others. but i was pms-ing. and hence i am excused. ha . our class is soo boring. some girls are cool and funnie..i..stilll dont know whu's whu and their names..neither did i , when i was in 27 but hell, at least there was some form of life! 30 is dead. like dead. like worse than the zombies in thriller .

I think i'm over reacting. I think.. i'm too over zealously paranoid. I think.. ah. shhh. -chuckles-



sigh.

{ 5:57 AM }

Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Ig27 ROCKS . \m/ yeah man. we have a cute smart matt, a beng and many other awesome people. hohoho. pity we were only together for 2 pathetic but long and fun days. we won most of the challenges on day2. -chuckles- the reason is simple . laalla. but seriously, even the facils were innit too! oH, and it jsut came to my knowledge that many people live in the west. like Bb and gombak west. like..guilin view west. you know you know?? awesome. 27 is waaay better than my prev one. which was like so vapid and dead and monotonous? HE HE

As formy new class.. disappointing. considering there are onli 5 guys.. nvm..i have this gut feeling i'll be at 29...alot. hahaks! I also think the residues of 18 shouldnt be so hostile to the others. Although its primal for us to feel eminity towards the new comers, we ought to be more hospitable. Because if we hate them, they'd hate us too. And doing so for some silly refusal to accept change is rather...silly. haha. so ya. t r y to be united uhh. i'll try. keyword : try.

yup..thats all.. i dont wanna go deeper into the ig thing. hahaha too much to gossip. argh. -slaps myself- i'm so blur i HATE it. i'm not trying to act cute or anything. i really rreally hate it. cos it gets me into trouble. grr .

{ 4:19 AM }

Sunday, March 05, 2006
Cheryl's bummed out. like really reallyyy bummed out.

bah.

whatever.

-

Chilled at Den's hse this afternoon. she's so bitchy i love her. Despite the fact that we hardly hang out, she still knows me inside out. hmm. thats why she's my besty. hee. our birthdays are just around the corner. yay .

{ 6:19 AM }

Friday, March 03, 2006
Not that i have grown out of it, but as i look back on my adolescence, i noted the several phases i have gone thru :

1. The mass appeal
2. The rebel
3. The depressed fuck
4. Stone

Of the four, i think the first phase is the most inane. you know the drill, doing stuff just cos ur friends do it. slipping into an outfit just cos everyone is wearing it? how d i s g u s t i n g ! well i grew out of it as fast as i stumbled into this horrid period of my life.

As logic would rule, rebelling is just as childish. Going against an smth for something trivial, knowing that you'll never win, ignoring the stark fact that u are always at the losing end? how silly is that? but it feels good doesnt it. -laughs- Thankfully laziness steered me back on track. I think, if i wasnt so much of the troublesome consequences, i'd still be gg against the world. BUt gee yo, its just too drudgy and time consuming.heh.

I can safely assure u that i am not depressed. But to confess that i'm radiating with sunshine and sparkly thingies and smile nothing more than a big fat lie. thats not the point. My point is.. i have reached a phase wherr i want life to be as simple as possible. That i dont mean doing away with hurdles. Bring the obstacles, throw in the bad, just refrain from making situations complex. And i cease very much to care what people think of me now. I dont want to be known, i dont want to be remembered that the glowing beam of light, the cute lil cheerful butterfly. Not that i'm sad and suicidal and depressed.

IRL i do joke and laugh with friends. in fact, i do that most of the time. its fun. Socializing irks me. the thought of pretending to be interested and surface conversations are nauseating. NOT that i am an introvert.

There are times when i do chat and talk to stranges like nobody's business. ( not literally) . sigh. These days, all i want is to chill with my friends and just hang out. I dont wanna be with a crowd that i dont know, and laugh at jokes that are not funnie. or sae silly lame things , or bitch about stuff just to carry a conversation? If u ask me, i'd rather be with my ipod lah.

Anyways, todae was well spent. hung out with hana and fatin ( will so fucking miss this girl) . chilled ( how ironic ) at hana's place under the sun. met up with jason, along with hana, at holland v for dinner. dug our wallets for $$, just enuff to purchase some lousy beer. thn head homee.

i'm just really bummed out. -nudge hana-

{ 7:34 AM }

Thursday, March 02, 2006
Come to think of it, i will miss T18. come to think of it, i'm starting to miss T18. sue me for being ABIT laggy but yea.. i chanced upon our klass pic , and the wistful feeling set in. aww. -slaps myself- i'm such a lag.

D'oh

keep in touch my ass. i'm teh one making time and all u ppl can do is tell me ya'll got plans. Gee, i have too okay. -laughs- this is exactly why i question myself. gosh cher, why do u hafta be the self-sacrificing one? BIatcH. i've had enuff.

{ 5:50 AM }

Wednesday, March 01, 2006
The effect of watching Final Dest 3 ..

denise//myfairytale [every princess has her knight] says:
i scared i die

*thumbs up*

haha. okay, so hana was right. Its so not worth it. cos i had my eyes closed most of the time. and " i could feel my heart bouncing ". I'm still bothered about the tanning death scene. I think its cos the others died pretty sudden, albeit painful. but that one, they died a slow horrible fiery death. like ouch. ouch ouch ouch. i dont think ouch even sums up the pain. but ah. -shudder-

Oh. and i wanna COMPLAIN. i'm nv patrionizing livia EVER ( at least for now) them and their stupid policy of ' once broken , considered sold ' what an intelligent way to con ppl of their cash. idiots. I had to pay for something totally overpriced and useless. i mean. Its bad enuff, the necklace looks overpriced. But for it to snap just by a mere touch is, whoa, not worth buying at all right?? and there she goes, charging me with rightful assertion of breaking the damn thing. i mean, the necklace was defective by default! ah. IT didnt cost me a bomb of anything. i just feel that i shudn't be faulted .

i had fun branding brands.

{ 5:42 AM }

Neversweet*

There are bullet holes where compassion used to be
Loves

Hanabanana Choo Wei Chen Ben Fong Nick Gary
Dont look back

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