Bloody bloody bloody. this whole week is bloodY. bloody crazy at that fact. i broke down during Pe.. had no fucking clue why. kinda silly if u think about it. i was half running and sobbing. so much for multi tasking. i was fine in the morin [ i think ]. thn suddenly everything went dark and m0ody. bah. i didnt wanna run..fucking had no m0od too. but noooo.... she wud't empathize. oh well. obstinace reigned , i ran. mind letting fly curse words and grievances all the way. the lesson ended with three of us down with cramps. coincidentally, we were wearing red. ha .

so evious of lien. its a birthday and she got little nice pretty thingies..one of which was rather bimbo. but cute. matches her PINK radio. estastic lien cudn't contain her smile the whole day. kinda cute. and hilarious. but mostly envious. i'm beginning to dread mine. anyh0os, went CWP aft sch to 'celebrate'. vanx bot that vodoo thingy for her. its brown. -chuckles-. yippie..if she hangs it on her mobile, we cud act like twinsies! -fake enthusiasm- her's is nice. all wound up and all. but i like mine the way it is. (with a little alteration made to him). oh. yea. i gave him a gender and name. its one of those spur-of-the-moment events if u ask me.

my mother's been getting on my nerves. the more i tell her about sch , the more worried she gets. fucking paranoid bitCH. she steps into my room onli to give hard reminder bout this impt year and my prelims. all that fuck crap. accuses me of not studying. when i do. blame me for doin the wrong things at the wrong time? btw, i was READING. she's the one gritting her teeth, shuddering , bout my english. yet she repremands me for READING???? seriously, wtf is wrong with her. she nags in the morning, scolds me at night. the onli time i'm ever immersed in traquility is when she's out 0r too preoccupied with television. she shud learn to shut her trap.

and my father. he's sucha.. bah. caant even be bothered to begin with tat bastard.

u noe. every moring i enter the car onli to find it tuned to some shit chinese radio station whu get callers to bitch about the goverment or current affairs. the callers are mostly like mid 30s ppl.. whu have no articulation whtsoever.. fucks my morning. basically.

did i make u nervous?
was i not deserving
one second of ur touch?

{ 11:16 PM }

happy birthday to clement~!~! haha
cant believe i was so blurr. but the present is small. not my fault k.

anyways. its just a fucking tremor and ch8's making sucha beeg hoo ya about it. i dont get it. why dont they report like otha stuff? i realise that the chinese newspaper are more local and report more useless shit. okay. perhaps i'm biased. i'm just veh perplexed by all this. haha. like there's prac nth to confused me at all . bahh whtever. *morhps into a sheep* i cant stand chn 52. pisses me off big time. purge purge purge!!

my motha's nagging at mie.. my fault once again. whu else? there's only mie. haha. hais. -slaps myself- so forgetful. so ungrateful. so selfish. so0o0o...useless so rash.. so stupid. . do ppl stil take their own lives by tryna get hit by cars??? cos u jux dont see that anymore. hahah maybe drivers are more careful now. besides, thats rather foolish.

u noe. for about 4 months, i refrained from eating these korean biscuits cus i assumed there was ginseng in em but 4 months later, it turned out false. ARGHHHH..the agony...!! for all the times i opened to fridge rumaging for summit to masticate but not getting any!! -slaps myself-. stupid girlies. as a matter of fact, the biscuits are yummy! >.< *Sudd hungry. stupid..conditioned relflex.

i've been msging alot lately. to the poiint my fone goes flat.. barely lasts the end of the night. gotta control myself. dont want her yelling at me again. i've upset her enuff.

scusey moi for laughing in ur face. but i cant help it. lol. how can u not know.. hahahahaha.. dumb d'oh!! oh yar. the assembly plan is crap. i dislike the thot of lining up as tho we're in some U grp or something. and in index number? get kamal like get a life. dont tighten the leash that u've wound around our necks. NO more ruleS. NO more sTUPID rules. man. if i were a kid i'd aspire to be a teacher cus u have the jurisdiction to do wht ever u want.


u're still so blind to me
{ 11:38 PM }

hmmms... hahaha. mOnday! what a fantastic , brilliant terrific start for the week!!!!! started off with a cute lil bumble bee settling on jy's crotch. dammit. i screamed and ran away. okay. thn. like everyone laughed at me. after which played tug o' war with sheila outside kls. freakin embarassing. >.< basically, i laughed alot. hahaha with clement too. bout some..stuff. he's so mean. haha

anyways. day got worse towards the end of it. feel so sad for him .. i've been like at the 2 ends in the situation so i cant say much but he's my friend so of cus i'm a lil biased. nono..hell lot. he doesnt deserve it. oh well. but its onli thru these shit that u mature and grow. but still. he doesnt deserve it. i wish i cud do more to make him happi / comfort him . i pondered for a moment and realised i wud not believe wht i was 'selling' so i shud shut up. i cant possibly encourage him to the other side right?? bah. feel horrible. i'd like die [internally] if i were him.. wht better day for this to take place.. argh. stupid. MEAN. DOWNRIGHT MEAN.

hais. i feel very hypocritical. its not right. but..nice girls finish last. -shrug- so sue me

by the way ur hands were shaking
rather waste some time with u
{ 5:50 PM }

sighh. smth's wrong wimme.. stupid...how something so trivial and pint sized have such a huge effect on me. so much so that it lasted the whole of t0dae. sheila is right. how can i hate myself so much yet be so self obsessed. hahaha. ironic.

i feel so guilty for yelling at my mom when i got home. haix. -slap myself-
feel so shitty for feeling like this. tried to cry it out. but they just wont FLOW. whaT the hell is wrong with me.

hmmm..was crossing over to Cdans when this bus driver honked at me cos he thot i was guna let myself get hit or something. that bitch didnt noticed i was still at a reasonable distance away from him. bitch. yelled at him. rather loud. i dont know . it just came right out of my mouth. grrrr. stupid.. got home onli to find my mother had chucked my dinner into the fridge. hais. its nothing huge but i got into a seething frenzy and starting bitching and throwing ev.thin arnd. yes including my temper. hais. -slaps myself-

tried crying in the shower. didnt work. all i felt was that burning stinging sensation at the back of my eye. stupid. cud've killed myself or something. argh.
{ 9:55 PM }

okAY, late-ness isnt so good afterall( i layed irresolute but mostly half asleep in bed. contemplating if the damn talk was worth dragging my arse out). utterly embarassing. rushing into the hall with rainwater dripping down my fringe and all. i wasnt drenched. just. um..damp. so i scurried to my seat onli to have tat bloody TANG seated in my direction. #$@#!~$ just my luck. hahaha. whtEVer. miss tay seemed pissed. i think she was looking at me. -pout- wht... i thot parents will be late. look at wedding dinners.! bah okay. i'm dumb. the talk was fairy monotonous..up till david's speech. damn funni. we were like sniggering and laughing. that guy sleeps for 10 hours, give minimal heed to his sci and math. heck care his lit and gets A1. hahahahahahahhaah. so funnie.. in a sad envious way.

i rmb looking at the nicey big round moon outside the living room. there was like this veil of clouds over it? really .. um. dunno. cant find the word. but nice. and the cool breeze made everything so melacholic. ahh thn msged wilson and he told me he was looking at the moon too. wht a coincidence. this proves that a moon a very big.

pss. BIMBO. !!!!!!!!!!!! =x. okay. i'm feeling dumb

lazed in my room to clubbeats. hahah. seriously, quite catchy. lmao. mom told me something. hahahahaha. u noe wht? FATE plays a huge part life, if u're not meant to have something, means u're not. yes, even if u miss it by a mere SPLIT second. its the magnitude of the polarity thn determines the depth of grief tht one will succumb to. haha. funnie. i laughed so hard.
{ 11:05 PM }

its 40 mins till the g0od friday . fatigue is creeping up my eyelids. i'm like dead beat. thot of blogging tmr morning but i think the enthusiasm wud haf eroded. so like yea. *rubs heads together* sports day sports day!!!!

whiees. lien won the bet. she reached 1o mins earlier thn the prefixed time. funnie.. i thot i cud reach first. but thn.. i tend to procrastinate.

okay... so like like.. the whole moment. well not really. more like split second. my face fell literally and my hart sank. [i think]. dont know. weird. sad. weird. like it excites u yet brings u down at the same time. why?!?!?! aRghhHhH. i dont like it. -frown-

so like we three got to sit on those teacher seats.. and for the first at a sportsday i felt so comfy, not sweating and .. nice. hahah. felt superior. mood was nice too..kind of. hais. -slap myself-. okay.. lien and i went beserks cheering for ppl.

okay so after that. went to watch spongebob. haha fucking crap movie. inna nice way i guess.. felt like sleeping the whole time..dont know how i sat thru? cinemas make me miserable. *sulk* clement looked realli depressed on the way home. like wow. i mean i've seen him in dip thot in kls before but i nv expect him to like be alone or smth.

mel's ruler is like so hilariously funnie. whahahhaaha. i almost burst out laughing upon sight. but i control. okay so like this entry is rather abrupt and incoherent. pardon me cuz i'm tired.
{ 11:53 AM }

when the subject on wannabes is brot up. i morph into a hystarical frenzy, getting into a long diatribe on why they shud be expunged from society. but lets not touch on that. wanted to make a list on the top few things tat herald anathema to my ears. but lets not go there. grrr...mhmhmhmhmhmhmhmh. i DISlike mh. *sulk* so sue me.

i cant cry. i need to cry it out. i cant cry.
sheila was close to tears/teared during english. i dont know. her tear glands are so active. had no notion whtsoever if she was crying or merely excreting. nevermind. but i had this urge to. been so long since. perhaps its a gud thing. or bad . cuz nth affects me n e more. i jux feel that notable chunck of hopelessness and dismal. sighh.

thank u clement for being oh-so annoying thereby distracting me from *thots. and jy for that cute adorable smile. ^-^ can ppl like..bother me with their problems? i dont wanna think about mind. i cant let my mind idle. it wonders and drift to some danger zone or summit. i rmb talking to myself in klass. dont think n e one noticed. hahaha. cant think!!

cheryl is selective-bipolar. and confused. as ever. but its not my fault. wahahahah. your FAULT.

oh ya.. overheard smth . quite pleasant. um..remind me to tell u abt it.
{ 7:30 PM }

well you're never find it. if u're looking for it.
fine. i dont. so it comes knocking on my door. i let it in, barely grasp it and it slips away.
*frown*
i dont like this. in fact. i dispise it. sighh. whtever.
why do i kip putting myself thru it thn..?
addicted to the thot of hoping it cud last.
i shud
stop
believing
but taht isnt nice.
and silly.
cos i do.
i cant say it doesnt exist.

that aside.
lam yakked about self-mulitation during CME. i just dont get it. whts so bad about it?? i honestly dont see n e point in defaming it. if ppl can hurt eu, why cant u hurt urself. weird right? why put such strain on urself. besides, its not like u're killing urself or anything.

felt sorely depressed . the guys said smth. sighh. fine. so it doesnt matter. hu cares right. whtever.

had this debate thing for assembly. interesting. abit silly. werent any 'point mdm' or 'point sirs' tho. sad. crapped with sheila. laughed till my sides split. so like they had this QNA session for the audience. of the like 4..5? whu went up. 2 were like fucking nervous. his hands were trembling. so were his legs. hahaha stupid. so stupid. finally. a breakthru. vanx went hysterical at the sight. so did i. aye....euphoria. hate it.

made up some stupid songs with her. haha silly. .. stupid.. i hate u. hate ur 'lil fan clubs' makes me sick.


{ 6:21 PM }

first day of term 2 and we got repremanded by miss tay for.... not singing the national anthem. queer.. like everyone sang cept the 4Es and 5Ns. hahah crap.. she did look a lil hilarious waving her index finger in a seething frenzy tho. but thotful tat she was. air conditioned classrooms. -grins- heard some classes willl be moving out/in? I. DONT. WANT. to move n e where. that got me like so apprehensive and dismal. dont know wht i wud do. prolly grieve for.. a few weeks or sth.arghh.

anyhow...i better start putting effort in my math. heng seems..nono is displeased with my hw. i cant deny. its shitty. sucky. -pulls up my socks-. u know that face she gives? the "sigh. u're hopeless. " or maybe "sigh. i'm disappointed" face. cant stand it. it upsets me alot. feel so helpless. *gasp* maybe thats her motif

-thinks back and gives a silly grin-
lalalalalalalalala........ :D
{ 6:25 PM }

this is my third attempt in publishing an entry and it sure as hell better work.

Saturday saturday..how was my saturday.. hmmm.. crap is too light.. shit wud be an understatement...miserable..? not harsh enuff. -shrug-. it started off fine. until i saw smth which i knew i shud'nt haf. things pretty went downhill from there.

truth?

i'm hurt. its not suppose to be like this.YOU lied. and maybe u were all along. i feel cheated. but . haha. no regrets . no regrets. -grin- wait. i'm not supposed to grin. i am like grinning in the core of misery . o.O ' find sth to be happy about'. thats wht i did. even if that memory eventually led to dispair. tsk tsk.

speaking of which.... fuck u too.

got invited to the SP concert. rare. i dont usually have a friend to rock with. anyhow. asked my mother for permission. she denied n rejected my proposal w.o a second's thot. bitch. i knew it was a fait acompli from the start but i made the inane error in trying my luck. see. hope? wht bullshit. there isnt much to lament abt..considering i dont like sp much.. i more interested in the crowd and atmosphere. well...GC's a totally diff story. i'd memories chinese compos to go. hmms.. they were on mtv this evening. cheered me up a tad bit. billy's cute. -silly grin-

i'm proud to announce tat i have succeeded in branding myself. its there to stay. sweet.



I saw that pregnant girl today
She didn't know that it was dead inside
Even though it was alive
Some of us are really born to die





Flies are waiting



ps : went out with elf and josh on monday. hahahahah.. they're realli nice and funnie ppl. crappy and lame. ^_______________^

{ 11:38 PM }

i did some PSM this afternoon. which was the sole cause of me being late. it was great. very excruciating but worth it..definately.. self grooming is good.. haha..if u're wondering why i'm not making much sense its cos i'm typing for the sake of typing cos i dont wanna think..i wanna get it off my mind cos i'm not supposed to think of it and i dont want to cos it makes me sad and i dont wanna be sad cos i've not been sad cos i've not been thinkin about it and i dont wanna think about it. why suddenly? why these ffew days?

*screams*
make em go away


life is so weird. its always the opposite. thats sad. i know its for the better but..i dont like it.


When I'm in the dark
and all alone
Dreamin' that you'll walk right through my door
It's then I know my heart is whole
{ 11:18 PM }

mel : u're font is like on fire. and i demand u pull me into ur problems whenever u have one . ( takes my mind off mine) hahaks. it makes me feeel wanted. u noe? not that way. at least i know that i'm a gud enuff friend to trust ur probs with. thats wht makes me feel gud. okay? yes. set. deal. -wink wink-

went for that stupid workshop this afternoon. the timing is sho shitty and i was laTE!! i'm starting to favour late-ness. its better thn arriving before time and not have nth to do. n e ways.. we had to write this stupid compo..which i wud have done..IF i had the mood. but i didnt. the big ominous dark cloud rained on me the moment i stepped into klass. why? perhaps i was the only one sitting alone. thereby giving leeway for my mind to w0nder...hence... yea... sighh. met viv on the bus. went for the sushi buffet. -grin- and i was like talking about it on weds? YES I TRIED THE POTATO THING AND THE BALLS. lmao. wat a noobie >.<

school...isnot...fun. anymore *frown*
{ 7:17 PM }

funnie how time flies.. before u know it, u're watching ur life slip away before u can do smth about it. why do ppl take things for granted? we all know we shud cherish but u cant do that everyday....can u? for the rest of ur life? i doubt.. i cant. i have 'too much things' on my mind. i wish i cud honestly say i tried.

i feel demoralised by the e math hw mrs heng gave us. 4 mere qns..i failed to complete all of em w.o leaving any blanks only for one topic . that heralded much satisfaction. i'm sucha failure. before i knew it, was time to leave. tho obstinace glued me to my seat, i guess leaving was best. cheryl was one the brink of breaking down. The one thing that kept me hopeful was those little 'thingies' mel sniggered at while rumaging thru muh fone. ha... not so much of hopeful..but glad. or sth. i dont know.

went loitering rnd causeway while waiting for my mom and aunt. they took like wht an hour? didnt felt like it. sure my legs were aching but my mind was like far far away. i think i was walking innah daze or smth. -slaps myself-. i simply cant get it out of my mind. *makes a silent wish*

oh my..i have taken a sudden liking to brown. brown berms..brown 3 quartZ, brown bags... i've become to shitty and its getting sick. i like but...my mind screams in alarm at the thot of having nth but brown in my wardrobe. kinda freaky..isnt it?

please dont drive me home tonight
i dont wanna be alone

{ 11:36 PM }

it wasn't too long ago when lien n vanx chilled at my hse. haha.. we dug out all three yearbooks are compared individuals. some embarassing, mostly hilarious. i shall not decriminate but can u believe how kiddy we all looked three years ago?? stumbled upon pictures of me and him. we were smiling and all crap and he looked dumb. with that stupid leaf on in his head. lols funnie.. aye. reminiscing. miss those times. but i dont regret.. i'm jux realli realli grateful tat i got to be with him. and whts better , i dont hate him. tho he gets on my nerves alot. haha. bah. stuppid.

*slaps myself*

funnie how u can be so close to someone thn suddenly feel this wall between each other in such a short time. wanted to tell him the aforesaid stuff but it'll be so weird. i guess he knows. nono..he should noe. he's the one person i can really realli be myself with.

this is stupid.

anyways.. i've got 45 mins more to waste..tick tock tick tock..goes the hand of the clock. lardidums. vanx made some realli mean comments about *ahem*. LoL. okay.. its not nice to laugh at ppl but it is fun. and hilarious..tho euphoric. :) i dont know where she gets these jokes.. its so original . so now we know.. some ppl wear boxers for a reason. -smirks-

you'll always be in my hart
the only light
that shines in the dark


{ 1:30 PM }

hitch is such an awesome movie. =( its funnie.. but its about cynicle love and thats so sad. funnie how albert felt towards the end of the movie dicpicted to near perfection of how i feel. hais. sad. three dates..onli three dates can make him fall in love with her so bad. cool. and they lived happily ever after. oops. spoiler. =) but its predictable. so..yea

mother just yelled at me.
piles of math hw waiting for me.
and the last one... sheila..u shud noe wht. hahahaha..... =( this sucks. not realli..but right now yes. hrmpf. sighh.

missyou
{ 7:35 PM }

yawwnnn... i'm tired..

i may.. or most prolly be the silliest.. stupid-est , most obstinate stubborn girl ever. cos i'm stuck here and i dont want to move. wht tattered fragments of memories are all i got. and while the proper procedure wud be to disist in reminiscing and discard em out the window. i choose to play em over and over in my head till i fall asleep . cos it puts a bittersweet smile on my face . and it makes dreams so pleasant, i wished i never woke up. i wish i had more.. but i am contented.. things cud be worse. sigghhh... oh... and sad sad jay song isnt helping. -frown-

=,(
falling into memories of u
{ 10:40 PM }

LIKE OMFG Y0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahaha..shit man. i cant believe wht jus took place. like .. hahaha. i cant stop freaking laughing. this is like so cool. awesome..sweet...wiCKed. -sniggers- never in a million years, will i expect this. but oh well. life is full of surprises.

clement and i were talking last night and i made this casual suggestion which i failed to expunge out of my mind [almost] the whole night. if onli it were true. sighh. i'm not being pessimistic..jux realistic.but it'd be hilariously cool. hahahaha. sry, i'm not in the mood to whine and wallow right now.

yippies.. school tmr. -jumps around- hahah..shit.. my hair.. i'm a sucker at styling it. cant nv get the same effect as gaysie did. u noe what. i think this is the happiest, most cheerful, jovial entry of the past few weeks. and its not for show. i'm happy. for now. -smiles-

i think i'm so guna screw the trigo and log test on weds. i've no idea wht to do for trigo. like how to solve them. maybe cos i've not attempted the questions. haha.. i'm okay with log. surprisingly, my brain adjusted fairly quickly if not, better to log thn the past. okays so yeah. cheryl is motivated and will complete here homework by the end of this week. *cross fingers* hopefully..

lol. u noe. i made this detailed plan on my hols thn decided to delete it. cos its stupid and it'll promulgate my inner geek. so i shall be discrete.

hahahaha.... shit. why's todae so interesting. there's this beng downstairs giving his baby ride a good wash . and he's like blasting marilyn. the beautiful people..the beautiful people... haha hilarious. but thumbs up to him. eyy..he stopped it. i think someone threw something at him. ey.. no. his cd skipped. billy likes marilyn. cute.

It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss

{ 11:46 AM }

went for a haircut in the evening. -wide grin-. wasn't exactly wht i had in mind but.... he came close. really really close.. like this *pinch fingers*. yup. i'm luving it. now i cant wait for monday to come.. hmpf.. okay anyways. walked over to boat quay for dinner and mAN. it was fabulous. fantastic. yummy!!!! had thai. like 100% thai. everyone there was thai. and this f0od was realli spicy... spiciest kang kong i've eva tasted. lols.. and they had this sweet pork thingy. and their dessert was the BEST. arghh..cant describe. nida brush up on my vocab. . but its realli really yummy and unique. had like pumpkin , banana with coconut. okok..so its very steeped with carbo . so what??? its like so yummy man. shud go there again. with my friends. but the price aBIt.. AHem. nvm..just order less food and more dessert. yup. onli for the dessert. hahahahaaha.... okay. so it was aft dinner.. i made this casual remark to shop. and thn we were like scuttling down to raffles xchange. funnie. all the shops were closing. boo!! din buy anything.


i'm so sorry for pms-ing in the morning. =(
i think i pissed clement off. or something. and lien too. *slaps myself* but i hope u construe that pms is uncontrolable. hurhur! but it got better as the day passed. thn it was sheila's turn. i think we hang out too much..till ev.thing diffused to each otha. ooh...got back our CA.. quite motivated by it actually... BELIEF! yessssssss. lol

had do draw various seeds for bio prac. i especially love da african tulip. its seed is inna shape of a Hart. now isnt that swweet? if onli someone went all the way to africa jux to give it to mie.. awwww... hahah.. took a pic of it. and a bean. lmao. shall post it when i hafta time.now that diocarp this is simply hideus. i went arnd shoving the bean in their face.. tryna get their inference on the bean. and 9/10 gave the same answer. lmao. cute. isnt it? -grin-

i was lost
And you were found
You seem to stand on solid ground
I was weak
And you were strong

I would cry
And you would smile
You'd stay with me a little while

sweet misery u caused me

argh..these lyrics make no sense.
{ 10:43 PM }

tsk tsk. sheila has been really. really. really. mean lately. aRGHHH!! i cant even begin to EXPRESS my feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that girl.. aRgh.. she argh. *explodes* she was really really mean laR!!!!!! *sulk*. i saw her walking to the side.. and i knew smth was up. i heard her say the first word (silly grin for a while) and i was like.. shit. after the 3rd word escaped from her trap. i knew that was it. i was like.. in shock. stiff. my reaction time was a near... 1 min?? *cringe* u had to be there. i cudn't even bring myself to whack her boobs . arggghhhh!!! i'll get u back!!! just u wait! wait. on 2nd thots, i think she was getting me back. For disparaging her during recesss. hahaha. tat was fun. shud do it again. lmao. oh wells. =)

speaking of which, i lost my mind during recess. i dont know wht got into me. i began sprouting bullcock , blabbering shit and all. verbal diarrhoea alright... the irony lies in the fact tat sheila was the onli one whu asked me to shut up. haha. i wonder why.

anyways, i'm like really grateful for ytd n t'dae. my day started off grouchy and ended.. um..shocked. innah gud way of course. just don do that again. its incrdibly childish. like it totally got me off guard. c'mon!!! u onli do those kinda things in pri school!!!


but thn. i got home and it began raining faeces again. mom so fuctup. aYe. cant stand her. but u noe. deftones is so super soothing...its like... in parallel with those yoga soothing melodies or sth. okay..so maybe hexagram's a little loud. but hse of fly, digital bath.. minerva.. classic. :)

i took u home
put u in a glass
plucked off your wings
and then laughed.


{ 7:34 PM }

just when i was on the road to getting life back on track again, its been smashed , thrown arnd, turned upside down once again. i hate it. i cant help it. my fault. shudn't have. argh. so here i am.. feeling the downest of downs, feeling that empty pit in me once more. i dont get it. i wanna oust it from me, yet half heartedly.. i kick myself for this. lol. yea. like it'll make things better. its me against the world again. sighh.

had a steupid firedrill this morning. i enjoyed it. -grins- altho my m0od crashed aft that. but i enjoyed it. we gathered in the bball court, under the warmth of the morning sun. sweet! i didnt sweat. just half tanned. lol. ahh wells..it wasnt tat bad. had the girls to crap with.. tat was the onli highlight of the day i think. ev.thin else was shitty. even assembly. aft sch was worse. sighh. it feels realll reallyy suckay.. when others make u happier thn i do. (seemingly)

oh yar... went on a boob slapping spree. hahahaha...poor sheila. >.< that wuss mean. its not nice so laugh at people. =). heheheheehe.. ahh well. u noe. being with vanx n lien is fun, but sometimes its so fun its depressing. like during recess. they didnt do anything [NOT REALLY] , but ya..just me la..

suddenly, the hols dont look so promising anymore. *frown*.


And I wonder
when I sing along with you,
If everything could ever feel this real forever,
If anything could ever be this good again.
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You gotta promise not to stop when I say when.

Everlong-foo fighters

still missing u
{ 8:08 PM }

mel's bloggig too lil while i'm blogging too much. ha. okay.. just returned from aunt's place. had a 'feeast'. well, the food was great. but i'm sick so yea, kiss my voracious appetite gudbye. my aunt kept shoving spicy prawns to my dish. . sigh. being the nice, polite niece tat i am, i stuffed em down. lol. now my tummy's aching. not that i have diarrhoea or anything. its one of those cramps u get when u eat too little. but tats not the point. i ate alot. grrr.. i was in the midst of watching GC.. thn she called. st0opid. billy billy billy. oh so cute billy. ^___________^


sore throat's a biatch. =( you cant talk much.. so even if u've got someone to call or someone to hang out with, yea, practically useless. siggh. fone so fucking quiet. i'm so sick of being the one talking. wished someone wud yak to miee, and i'd just listen. or snigger. hahahaa. shit. not funnie.

on a brighter note, seven-ish more days and helllooooo hols. so maybe like, i'd still go to sku everyday and all. but i guess nono i MUST squeeze in a lil timmeee for shopping -does that bimbo finger thing-. whiee. yes. mel. i'm alll geared up. lol~! oh. i noticed a significant change in my complexion. i'm like getting lumpy and pasty and it isnt very nice. looks like... AHEM. i'm a tad bit grossed out actually. yuRk. i am disgusted with myself.

i'm disgusted with everything. arGhh.. smoke's like bellowing out of my dad's mouth once again. its so sickening. like fuck off. its stinky. if smoke smelt a lil nicer, more fragranted and burst less alveoli walls, clogged less arteries, binds with less haomoglobin . thn maybe i wont get so pissed by it. sheesh. thn again, i think its jux me and my grudge against him. and maybe life was a lil nicer and gave me wht i wanted thn maybe i won't bear such ill feelings for it. oh, and maybe if the world didnt thrive on deceit. thn maybe just maybe, i wund't be so disgusted by it. yes yes. useless incessant rants.
{ 7:30 PM }

*waves* happy birthday to sheila!!!!!! hahaks. *envies* that girlie got so mani pressies. sigh. i'll nv get this much. lols. ouu well. anyway, i loved the thing we got her... hmmm..shall bug her for the results during da weekend. i'm realli inexoably curious. -grin- yurk. came across like 6-8 cockroaches on the way to 7-11. in diff species and sizes. gross. >.< got me all squeemish and irked. hmm.. went for the NCC rod thing with her later in the afternoon. i was dead beat. but stayed thru it nonetheless. pity we cudn't take more piieeks.. dumb fucks didnt bring extra batts. -.-l. lol.

aRgh.. i can feel the imminent sorethroat omw.. am blogging under the influence of its malignant effects. hmrpf. i'm so st0opid. i knew i shud've abtained from choco. but it kinda slipped my mind..so like ya.. it was onli aft i finished tat packet of milo. that i felt a lil sore there. bah. too late. -pout-.

sigh..i'm tired.. tmr's sat. thn comes sunday. bored. sad. bored. sad. bored. sad. -nudge- ask me out. lmao. there wont be any shopping spree for me anytime soon.. rather broke now. the clothes are still lying on my bed. didnt chuck em in the closet. i dont know why...cept for the green camisole-ish thing. i'm so excited. cant wait to wear it out. =x
{ 7:13 AM }

talked to him on da fone a while ago. said sth. vague but i knew wht he meant. felt so fucking extra again. i wonder if this fuels his pleasure of sth. if it does thn i'd rather he do it to someone else..cos i cant stand it. i wished he cud fine someone to belittle and critisize as well as ostracise. cos it dont feel gud. it feels like crap honestly. and hurting too. did u get wht u deserve?is this wht u always want me for. i wonder if he knows how it feels. i wonder if he cares. you ppl make me sick. .

went to buy sheila's pressie.. hahaha..funnie.

sch was okay...not as depressing as ytd. but still bittersweet nonetheless. arGH.. cheryl's st0opid. *slaps myself* thn had bio remedial.
frowned all the way thru.. due to sth. i'm trying..but not getting there. i'm trying.. just not hard enuff. . cuz i dont want to. : l
made a inane mistake listening to 'true'. cus its stupid.. ssiigggghhhhhhhh..
had a math test. like whoah. i cud do it. =)

i miss u : /
{ 6:49 PM }

-wide grin-
hahahahah..hahahahahahahaha.. my dad. hahahahaha..he came home with like a bag of dove(choc), MArs, M&Ms, menthos, um..and other nice sweet stuff. like omfg. it felt like my birthday or sth. and for the first time, i smiled at him. instead of yelling and asking him to fuck off. =x. alright. i am guilty. but like a bag of sweeets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now u know how to make me happy.
i shall share the joy with my friends tmr. that is, if i rmb to bring em to school. nono..if i can be arsed to. sometimes i rmb..but i'm just so fucking lazy to even trudge to the fridge. haha. but yea.. like whoa man.. a bag of sweeets!!!!!!
{ 9:20 PM }

cheryl's getting better at getting thots out of her mind. she's one step closer to adapting to the latrine she's thrown into. [lol] she's back to doodling. unfortunately, she doesnt have that old notebook anymore. (the one she used last year). so0, she's down to scribbling on her table and on random sheets of paper. hmmm. did a vague not to mention lousy sketch of how i want my doll to look like. perhaps.. i shud to have it custom made. haha. silly. t'dae was bittersweet. sad. but happy. that kinda shlt. i dont like it..but i guess its better tht being overwhelmingly depressed. so ya..i'm contented.[NOT]

omg. wait. must digress. listening to Iron Maiden now. like wow. they're gud. i like. but the guitar slidding irritates me. =x ok. i dont know how to appreciate. so what. hmpf. FEAR OF THE DARK!!! MHUAHAHHAHA. lmao

okok.. where was i. yEa.. clement and my sick obsession with ian's head is getting out of hand. i remembered holding the puncture(?!?! is that wht u call it?) in my hands, and i whacked it agaisnt his head. figuratively i mean. lols. i released my grasp of it before i lost control. haha. i want a scapel. yes~ another item added to my bdae list. a sharp, demure, shiny scapel. -grin-

i managed to complete da locus test, with time to spare! like whoa.. i cud do it. didnt think i cud do it.. sigh. i'm losing the drive . -frown-
{ 6:35 PM }

There's a ton of stuff i wanna tell him.. wanna ask him but i daren't. hais..i dont even noe where to begin. he's like so fortunate to have sucha wonderful life tat i feel tat i'm the onli flaw . i feel like so inferior. so extra. i hate it. hais. but he makes me complete. . and..i dunno wht to do. i have this sick feeling tat if i told hlm wht's been bothering me, he'd dismiss it and tell me nt to think so much. maybe i'm thinkin too much. sigh. sad sad.

hmms.. hurray. i lived thru another torturous day in school. getting fucking sick of it. getting sick of everyone. kinda said summit wrong to vanx in the morn. Oops~ it jux came outa my mouth. hais. rebuked at jy once again.. sigh. *slaps myself* aiyo. i think clement's getting to me. must regain my self-esteem.

walked home with vanx.. thn saw some hillgrove guys. tsk tsk. like whoah. they used to be a bunch of aesthetically challenged ppl.but now. so different. ahaha. i look at swiss guys and the shism is like so huge. =x. jk. better tat that back, i have a feeling i'm guna be ousted by the guys if they find out. -chuckles-
{ 4:23 PM }

There are bullet holes where compassion used to be

Hanabanana Choo Wei Chen Ben Fong Nick Gary

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