i've just posted some new pics i took ytd ..go take a look if u want. pretty lame and silly if u ask me. lols

well well, i came to school with a sour look on my face. totally (well not really) untuned for the english paper. so i'm expecting a borderline mark which i deserve. considering the last minute work and all. on the other hand, the length of the chi compo surpassed my expectations. i din noe i cud write so much for chinese. better yet, in such a 'short' amt of time. sighs. all bullshit anyways. i manged to sieve out my flaw, i need more planning. planning is impt and being rash wud only exagerbate things. anne tan was right. lols. if u plan properly , u can write like really fast. but i write 2 fast, to the point i miss out all the nicey cool stuff. stupid. so...my point is..... um.. i shud plan and write calmly . yes. t00 late? shut up.

hahahhaha -slly grin- and i love the sitting arrangement. i love it i love it i love it. its at the back! and.. yea. hahahah heheheh...nyah nyha nyah poo poo. stupid. hehehehehe. but distracting leh.. -slaps myself-

i hate it when people talk so loud its impossible to turn a deaf ear to their conversation which sucks piss esp when on certain issues that i detest. serve me right for having sucha sensitive ear .. lien cudn't hear anything! arGh. fortunately, their convo ceased as fast as it begun.
{ 7:24 PM }

these few days have been living hell. literally. the weather has been more unforgiving thn ever.. with humidity and all. how big is ur fucking bladder man. rain on us rain rain rain! just so damn hot. been sweating my ass off all day.

recently, i have incurred this tendency to wail n grieve each time i walk along this path ; the one aft u cross the road and before u cross over to the mrt station. i deem it nothing more than sheer coincidence. yes. thrice. hahaha. but all in the name of fun. aH, a clear notation of the pathetic being i have regressed to. delving into misery for pleasure. abit perverse innit? yet a demerit it is not. . -slaps myself-

my hands are sore from all the twisting and turning , tryna fathom the stupid flemming's rule thing. i swear, i was this -pinch fingers- close to breaking my wrist. hiak2. whtevver, i'm guna flunk my mid terms. sighh. so much for mugging. i dont think i can make it. there's just so much and so little time. almost everyone have begun some form of mugging, so intense , so consciencious and wht am i doing? sitting my ass on the bloody chair , realeasing my fustrations on this stupid blog as some sort of catharsis. Dreaming of a day that will never come. yet secretly, tucked away in the deep dark abyss of my lil black hart lies a glimmer of hope. hope. wht good is hope? i wish i cud truthfully declare i 'gave up hope'.

bahh. and wht cant all guys be like him? if only she knew how good he was. he'd give the world for her and this is how she treats him..i nv knew he'd fall for a quitter. she didnt even try. i'm in no position to defame either but its realli sad. and you know how nothing can ever be the same again. so too bad. well, its too late for regrets -shrug-

Can you feel your heart beat racing
Can you taste the fear in her sweat?
You've done this wrong, it's too far gone
These sheets tell of regret
I admit that
I'm just a fool for you
I'm just a fool for you


{ 7:47 PM }

susan lim is nuts. literally. she is crazy. out of her mind. She hollered at me across the 'corridoor' [ the one which conneects my kls to e hall] . so i approached her, onli to be seized up by those pigeon like eyes. she sneered at me and taunted " guys can stip u in their minds and rape u" stuff like that. all because of my bra. hell, it wasnt even black. not exactly white either but definately blind to anyone at her distance. *gasp* omg. she was staring at me boobies!!! bah. i shall not defame her lest she reads this shit but its sick. i cudn't believe i got caught for wearing baby pink . the black bra person was standing beside me and that slipped her gaze???? pig. *sulk* i shoved shirley into my pocket before she cud give me another prep talk about anything else. shu've bit her back bout tat time she wore thongs to school how evident. hmpf. PIG.

i think he's gay. straight out gay. may baboons masticate his gonads at night.

I'm no Barbie doll
I'm not your baby girl
I've done ugly things
And I have made mistakes
And I am not as pretty as those girls in magazines
I am rotten to my core if they're to be believed
So what if I'm no baby bird hanging upon your every word?
Nothing ever smells of roses that rises out of mud

I think you're sleeping with a friend of mine
I have no proof but I think that I'm right
And you've still got the most beautiful face
It just makes me sad most of the time


{ 3:53 PM }

*swoons* caught travis barker and his wive on TRL a while ago and my gosh .. s0o0o0o loving!!! aahhhh!! and for the first time i heard his voice. cos he never Speaks. and he's cute. and hot. and cute. and hot. and cute n hot. ahhhhh... hahahhahahaha.... hmm. -regains composure-. right.

hmmm... 22 bio chps... in 3 weeks...? clearly impossible. but i will try. sigh.
{ 10:01 PM }

tonight has been quite a shock. my 1st, 2nd, and 3rd bdae wishers were totally unexpected. inexorably touched . and i absolutely adore mel's pressie. its likka..likka..candle holder.. or something. right? i stinnk at describing. hahah. shalll post it up one day.

so i met the two horribly under dressed. i thot of dressing up budden i assumed they wudn't. bah! no matter.. was all about the food anyhow. lols. feast our ass off... gee.. totally sinful. but in light of our bdae ( post n pre) i guess a lil slip wudn't hurt much.. had a blast bitching n laughing and doin the stupid lame and silly stuff we always do together. hahah. i like the spoon pictures. n e how.. dey spent the night at my hse watchin this sick movie titled Wishmaster. plot sux. but gross factor was at its cresendo. my throat is sore frm all tat screaming. hA.

-frown- his nick pricks my little hart. but i understand. its onli fair.
u very well know i still fckin care


{ 10:23 PM }

Its days like this that make everything so vacuous.

the animosity mrs sng emanated cud've killed me. [haha]. subtle. but lethal
insessant rants from heng ticked me off. period . the woman gets mad at trivial stuff. she shud practice a lil more patience.her voice is a close semblance to my mom's . i just cant stand it. besides, she has no right to ask about my family. wht i do at home does not concern her.
mother exagerbates things by deliberately hitting my nerve.
i was forced to apologize twice. that besically fuct everything up.
Everything's my fault. my fault.
Its unnerving.

is it wrong to care?
fustrated.

this was never my world
u took the angel away
{ 9:30 PM }

I got thru the day with a trobbing head all the way since morn. ahh.. imma survivor. i must Get to the gist of why i'm always so lethargic. my energy span is liliputian . perhaps its the weather. somehow, i feel more alive at night. less.. humid. and bright. with the exception of last night of course. i was sweating like a PIG . i rmb the surge of heat wave that welcomed me as i step into my room. at arnd 3 in the noon ytd.

aYe.. clement told me summit that borderlined abhorrence. its like so totally sick and disgusting how one can be so steeped into something tat becomes like a cult. yes. cult. hate cults. inane, foolish, low. and abit sad. proves how weak his mentality is? i know i have no right to judge since the whole world is against me but this is too much. disppointing in my rekoning. i wonder how this 'fad' will last. a lifetime? go on. humour me. its a fad. its a fucking FAD.
{ 10:17 PM }

summit's wrong with me. i kept laughing for no reason the whole day. like suddenly burst out convulsing in laughter. shud be grateful shawnie din run away. hahaha stupId. honestly , i cudnt control myself. i laugh at the slightest thing. hahaha..hang out with u guys too much! well okay, i managed to get some nazi in my head. -grin- yea. so met clee, sha n lien in the evening. i onli intended to sae hi but end up having dinner and taking neo prints with them. haha hilarious. during dinner. =x and hahah poor clee got squished between those boards as we switched the bg. hahaha but it turned out nice. cool huh? how i managed to summerise my day in a single para. -sniggers-


bot joss stone's album. veh nice.. i esp like spoiled. eloquent dipiction of how i felt . [note ; past tense] sigghhh. but it doesnt matter anymore. u noe. everytime i hera only one-yellowcard , i cringe.


See I thought that I could replace you
He can't love me the way you do
Till now I never knew, baby

I'm spoiled
By your love
boy No matter how I try to change my mind
What's the point it's just a waste of time
I'm spoiled by your touch
boy The love you give is just too hard to fight
Don't want to live without you in my life
I'm spoiled

I tried to tell myself that I'd be over you in a week or two
But baby that was 'bout a year ago
I've never seen the word love so personified as I do with you
And that is why I just can't let go,

{ 11:37 PM }

one w0rd - hectic

well well, the much dreaded week is finally coming to a close. just one more hurdle to overcome and wh0opie! helloooo weekends! not that i'll get any less 'stressed' but u can sae i have a little more time to relax. my legs are s0re frm the running, and the jumping. and the stretching. thinkin bout how i whimmed thru napfa with a throbbing headach amuses me. red is such a bright, loud color. funnie how some people's eyes are so shrouded in mist that they simply ' see thru it' . slept on the tables after school.. cud've fallen into a deep slumber but the kls wuss too noisy. tired. exhausted.

i got flashed on thurday. in class . still bitterly traumatised by the horrific sight of barb-wire pubic hair stickin out of underwear pores. hahaha how blatant. u cud say i was flabbergasted. well maybe slightyl exagerated but more or less true. hahaha i mean. i was caught off guard. even i dont hafta guts so like.. *patrick's voice* show them my underwear. in class. beside the window. AHEM!?!?

time for grievances. i'm glowing green with envy. lien's birthday was last friday. she's been getting pressies almost ev.day for a bloody week. how unfair is that?! lols. oh well. lucky girl.
{ 9:57 PM }

i watched the station
saw the bus pull through
and i dont mind saying
a part of me left with you

i've not felt this generous..ever since christmas. see, i sacrificed precious invaluable time with moi booksies in search of lien's and clement's belated *Ahem* pressies. hey. at least i gave em smth right. -grins- i cant wait to hand it to them. not because i wanna get rid of em, thats the last thing i wanna do, but for their reaction. Amazingly, i spent less than 50 bucks this time round. i wasnt in the mood for shopping. in fact, i was almost tempted to cancel my appointment. but wht kind of person wud i be? had fun anways. thomas said he saw me. like across the road or smth (he was at taka , i was at paragon). wah. bionic eyes. was pleasantly surprised tat he reconized me. havent seen/heard frm him for like.. dunno very long.

i stumbled upon a necklace that he gave me last valentines. f0r whtever reason, i put it on giving blithe regard for the rightousness of my action. i tend to make myself sad. reminisced all the way there. th0t about the lovey times, where he loved me just tat much and me likewise. thn all those arguments surfaced. i frowned.figuratively. after which gritted my teeth at teh sole harbinger of..the end. i can laugh about it, sigh about it, bitch about it. anything and everything except ..truly taking it in. not that i dont understand. i do. hais. fuck it. sometimes i do, sometimes i dont. whtever. i wonder if he thinks about me. surely not. it doesnt matter.
{ 12:05 AM }

ytd was the longest i've stayed in school (for this term) and it was great, memorable. scurried round school looking for people to take pics with. after taking one with eric, li ting and i set this inane goal to take a pic with someone frm each cca. since this was their last day or smth. lols. we failed. haha.


i wuss sitting in the the quadrangle --exactly opp our klass, strutting arnd it like i owned The bloody place. haha kinda fun! cos i cud do whtever i want !!! i deliberately littered the quad with a sweet wrapper. HAH. hahaha and it was dark. all the elements made melacholia so right. kinda wish he was with me. that never fails to leave me wondering 'why...?' i dont know. bah. bbbaahhhhhhh .
{ 1:09 PM }

There are bullet holes where compassion used to be

Hanabanana Choo Wei Chen Ben Fong Nick Gary

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