Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Tali ,lets run away and have fun like we always do. :/

October..11. noted.

I feel like throwing a lingerie party!!

*

Finally got the SN presentation over and done with. Didnt really do my best. I hurried through and talked shit most of the time. I ..think i need to be more serious.

Lunched at Monkeys after GEK. the whole group was there..Cam-whoring.
"why are we cam whoring?" I asked
"why not?"
-noted-

I always enjoy dinner with tali . Because when we do, we end up talking about things that should not be talked about loudly, in the loudest manner. I dont care. I am vocal and i need to express my feelings.

I like how i look today.. made me feel really comfortable in my skin. Got quite a few glances as i smked outside wisma. I think they think i'm fourteen. Despite so, i love how i looked today. Really comfortable in my skin..and missing my belt.

and missing the (missing) boyfriend.

{ 10:51 AM }

Monday, September 29, 2008
I wanna love you. Stop giving me reasons not to.

{ 9:42 AM }

This is the moment that you know, That you told her that you loved her, but you don't. You touch her skin and then you think, That she is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me. Yeah, she is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me.I wanted to believe in all the words that I was speaking,As we moved together in the dark. And all the friends that I was telling,All the playful misspellings,And every bite I gave that left a mark. Then tiny vessels oozed into your neck and formed the bruises,That you said you didn't want to fade. But they did and so did I that day.

All I see are dark gray clouds in the distance moving closer with every hour. So when you'd ask, "Is something wrong?"
I'd think, "You're damn right there is, but we can't talk about it now.No we can't talk about it now."

So one last touch and then you'll go, And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more. But it was vile, And it was cheap, And you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me.

{ 8:08 AM }

Sunday, September 28, 2008
Reeling. Walking fast, starting to break into a run.

{ 6:01 AM }

Yeah, she's a looker but I really think it's guts that matter most.I displayed them for you.Strung them out about from coast to coast.I am easily make believe.Just dress me up in what you want me to be.I'll take back what I've been saying.I've gotta feel you in my bones again.I'm all over you.I'm not over you. I wanna taste you one more time again.I'm all over you.I'm not over you.In my daydreams, in my sleep,Infatuation turning into disease.You could cure me, see all you have to do now is please try.Give it your best shot and try.All I'm asking for is love,But you never seem to have enough.When I just want you to love me back.Why can't you just love me back. Gotta feel you in my bones again.

{ 6:01 AM }

Dear everyone, i love my hanabanana and shanelaushenglian from the heart of my bottom. Shane, the look on your face made me meltz. and Hana, thanks for telling me to shut up instead of throwing comfort words at me. I'll be careful this time.

Needless to say, Timbre with them was fun. as usual. too fun for my liking actually. all thks to hanny. Went off to meet the boyfriend after timbre to catch a movie with his friends. Caught big stan. He kept laughing. He kept laughing :s lepaked a while outside cine before cabbing home. Our ambitious ambition to take NR8 home was pulled down by major fatigue.

You're starting to know what i'm thinking. Its starting to scare me.



{ 12:38 AM }

Friday, September 26, 2008
I couldnt get them out of my head. I was trying..but not hard enough. They clogged my senses . I couldnt get them out.Stop it. Stop it. I failed. This cannot continue.

Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest.

{ 7:06 AM }

Thursday, September 25, 2008
I'm sorry. I had a re-laspe. I didnt mean to. I feel bad.

I'm keeping the First Choice tag. (:

{ 8:29 AM }

Wednesday, September 24, 2008
I love my boyfriend. Thanks for staying by my side throughout today.

I cannot believe gossip girl says he's hot. (hahaahaha)

..and he just got off the bed to play dota. while i just got comfortable snuggling up under the blankie beside him. rarh.

I'm glad i wont be sleeping alone tonight. your arms are all that i need.

{ 9:23 AM }

Tuesday, September 23, 2008
OMG i absolutely have to blog about this!! I'm in the lib now and there's this GUY sitting OPPOSITE me. mid thirties? some teacher, been mulling passionately on his thick book of calculus all day. Thn i plugged my speakers into my lappy and began listening to infected mushrooms. AND THEN. i noticed him groooving to it! hahahha! omgzxz!!

{ 4:03 AM }

Oohps i did it again.
Monday, September 22, 2008
I should stop snacking on milo fudge. I think its unhealthy. I'm extremely worried about the essay. I'm silently stressed .

{ 9:18 AM }

You cut me open and i
Sunday, September 21, 2008
FINALLY caught up with shaneeyyy banana and janice. i love them.


3 in the morning, just done firguring out what to do for my philo essay. Raining cats and dogs outside. I find the thunder slightly..scary. im a little afraid. wouldnt it be nice if i had you here. hmmm?

Thunder Acoustic will always bring back memories.

Why never fails to set me into a daze.

Because these days arent easy like they have been once before these days arent easy anymore. you make it hard to smile you make it hard to breathe. I shud've known this wasnt real and fought off and fought to feel.

{ 10:17 AM }

Saturday, September 20, 2008
I left early (AGAIN). But this time completely sober, in full posession of all my faculties. Stop touching me. stop tryna grab me. srsly. Told him to come get me and left for home after that. baby i think i'm too messed up for your own good..how? but i'll be good for you (: I.cannot.believe. i didnt feel like dancing with anyone tonight! i didnt want to! OMGZXZXCZXCZ!

baby stop snorrrrinnggg.

{ 2:36 PM }

boy you can do whatever you like
Thursday, September 18, 2008
I feel oddly morose. Nothing is supposed to be going on in my mind but its unusually clogged with thoughts ..and apprehensions.

Well wasnt this week eventful? Dont know what the fuck im doing, gotta put myself back on track..after i'm done with kari's party tmr. (: But i gotta be good now.

I've been skipping school. Hanging out with my BOYFRIEND ( hahahaha like srsly..rofl) 2 nights straight, 3 fucking days in a row. oh god. Having fun, not thinking about anything, lying in bed all day in almost nothing. bliss.

waking up early to study tmr. i'm gunna exercise tmr. i'm guna exe tmr.

You are one of God's mistakes
You crying, tragic waste of skin.
I'm well aware of how it aches
and you still won't let me in
Now I'm breaking down your door,
to try and save your swollen face.
Though I don't like you anymore
you lying trying waste of, space.

{ 12:45 PM }

Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Run baby run dont ever look back they'll tear us apart if you give them a chance

{ 8:44 AM }

Tuesday, September 16, 2008
...but i have no right. so there's no point really.

wow. when u said you were downstairs i didnt expect you to be serious. :s touched. you didnt have to you know. I didnt think you would. shocking. really. I'm beginning to think tt you're actually serious. but we all know

{ 8:41 AM }

Monday, September 15, 2008
I just met up with my best friend and her boyfriend. It was the first time in after an extremely long time that i actually sat down and talked with her outside a club. She never stops laughing. I love her.

and you secretly make me happy.

lets see how many heartbreaks i can endure in a row.

{ 6:51 AM }

Sunday, September 14, 2008
Why so serious?

{ 8:16 PM }

so tired. so much more things to do. i am dreading tmr.

{ 6:50 AM }

Saturday, September 13, 2008
I studied in school till 10 on a saturday night. Then went to have fun after that :):) What a nice way to spend my weekend.Relaxing. Wasnt in the mood to club. Liked how things turned out in the end.

oh. and i saw hana for like less than 5 minutes.

{ 2:07 PM }

Friday, September 12, 2008


cos u're everywhere to me

{ 11:20 AM }

She had an earthquake on her mind
I almost heard her cry out as I left her far behind.
I knew the world was crashing down around her
I sink now to the ocean floor
Because I know that we are more

but I've made this mess

She had an earthquake on her mind
Apparently the kind that would bury us alive

{ 10:51 AM }

Thursday, September 11, 2008
I'm glad i left training early to meet my friends for life at vivo. They're such a nice bunch to hang out with. Celebrated taffy's birthday at secret recipie before heading of the the deck to lepak and HTHT. I never laughed so hard for so long. I THOUGHT IWAS THE ONLY ONE. I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE! BUT I'M NOT! NYAHAHAHAHHA

arts ppl. cool kids manz. we're all fucked up. we're all fucked up.

{ 9:29 AM }

Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Well i was on the other side of the line till THREE in the morning. That must mean something musn't it?

Anyhow i was almost late for lect today. Like seriously almost late. I woke up at 8.20 , giving me only 25 minutes to get ready. (which is not enough). Met joy at PS and she sed i look like i came from Hall. I took tt as an insult. haha hana sed the same thing. cringe.

met hanny( LOL WHAT A CUTE NAME) for lunch. she's crrazy . crazy crazy crazy. she didnt eat , was rushing at accnts tut, told me tt she was up till THREE doing her accts tutorial. goodness. and here i am not doing much. I love her, she makes me wanna mug. shall do it this weekend. while everyone's getting intoxicated and having fun, i shall be a good girl and mug. (hopefully). I do hope tt i'll end up playing. somehow. got tons of readings to do and physics to understand :(

{ 10:25 PM }

Tuesday, September 09, 2008
I've made mistakes that i can't erase. But i just want you to know who i am. I just want you to know who i am. When everything falls into pieces, i just want you to know who i am. I smiled to myself, i cannot believe i smiled to myself. then the grim reality set in and the smile faded into a bitter frown.

As I'm staring through this fire
It's too late to make you mine
So far from where we started
So far from what we wanted

{ 11:21 AM }

Monday, September 08, 2008
I had a horrible morning. My ipod died on me at the beginning of my bus journey, i wasnt able to complete the pathetic survey, i came in late for class, i didnt participate in the discussion at all. Walked fei zhen to econs lect after new media since i had nothing better to do and in an frustrated whim i lasped into an almost hysteric rant about saturday night. I'm not close to her, i hardly know her. laughs .

And yes my day did get better although not much. Met jojo and kari for lunch and a good miserable laugh . Saw aloy taffy nadya vicki and jay at the deck ( seperately).

I need to get back to my books. Till later

{ 6:34 AM }

Sunday, September 07, 2008
This morning was so warped. I remember sleeping , and dreaming of the present. and when i awoke i couldnt seperate reality from the works of my mind.. It was a bizzare surreal moment. Maybe..everythng was just a dream. haha that'd be really warped.

{ 5:18 AM }

Saturday, September 06, 2008
Thank god for thick volumous curly hair. I just got enough endorphines to last me a lifetime ( extreme hyperbole , i'll probably feel like shit again tmr..or later..) reckless and decadent. so sue me.

you're starting to haunt me

{ 9:58 PM }

I had intentions to be really happy friday night- I ended up crying under the void deck. Was as messed up as a girl can be. I just wanted to sleep, i was really tired and i wanted to sleep. But i guess he misunderstood. And maybe if hana was there, things wud not have turned out the way they did.

Guys are fucked up creatures. You say things when i dont want you to, move away when i dont want you do. Do the opposite of what i want..so much so that it seems almost deliberate. But you said it wasnt. I dont fucking get it. And sometimes, you guys think too much as well. TOO MUCH.

Days are getting longer. Life is such a drag. Cant seem to get myself to do anything. I hate this.

And its like its wrong to come running to you when you're the only one tt i want to run to. Since when. ( rhetorical i know). and suddenly i have to run away when all i want is to run to you. And i'm not saying you're like the one for me or tt i'm head over heels for you or anything. goodness no. i just enjoy ur presence and you make me happie. and suddenly we have to Stop it. its silly and illogical when u think about it. maybe you're doing this for my own good. i dont know. but fuck you. you dont want to hurt me but u already are. stupid illogical irrational. stupid stupid STUPID.

{ 1:51 AM }

Thursday, September 04, 2008
Today was a good day. I laughed. alot (:

Met jamie and faith for lunch, aloy came to join us a while later. They made me laugh. i dunno why. Just found their presence..uplifting.

Fencing AGM was boring, but food was good ( free buffet is always good). Had a few good laughs as well.

Wanted so desperately to go home and get sm werk done but the neighbour msged and how cud i ever deny a smoke? its 1.14. i think i ought to go to bed.

{ 10:11 AM }

Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Visibly forlorn.

I feel bad for hana. she kept asking me to cheer up but i cudnt.

{ 6:02 AM }

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Laughing with the banana at 230 in the morning. i love you, you're a good friend.

Im not angry i'm not hurt. When you've been through enough shit, nothing's new anymore. Surprise surprise? none here. Saw it coming a mile away. A pity. what a pity. But if this is what you want thn this is what you'll get. No use fretting about things that are out of my ctrl.

{ 11:56 AM }

Monday, September 01, 2008
You should have believe them when they told you.

{ 11:45 PM }

Neversweet*

There are bullet holes where compassion used to be
Loves

Hanabanana Choo Wei Chen Ben Fong Nick Gary
Dont look back

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