Ha. i'm blogging as my mother sits behind me. pathetic. well the long dreaded week is drawing to a close. yay i survived yet another shitty week. yay i'm done with my eom. and though i screwed my chem spa , got beaten down by life, and even being hit squarely in the head by a freakin ( yay. i didnt sae fuck) tennis ball, i'm still here. i guess i should credit byself for that. strength. yeah. - nervous laugh-

I should stop feeling so helpless and useless for others. i should stop bring myself down because and for others. Ironically the one thing that cheers me up and lifts my spirit is when i'm not thinking of u. haa. whatever. double edged sword. You're like a pin, i like it when u prick.
Blame me for my odd morbid masochistic penchat.

Its not like i've gained enlightenment or anything. I'm just keeping in. i'm always in a fickle oscillation between expressing my feelings. yes it helps, but seriously, who the fuck is gonna sit patiently and tolerate this ball of..argh i dunno shit? whatever. I sat in class today, silently raging and there were many times where i felt like bursting but nawww. and even when the ball hit me lol , i just stood there i laughed. Shane speculated that i was having a good day. um. ok lohs. haha -shrug-
{ 6:12 AM }

hahaha okok i know i promised nise i'd put up a nice picture. but then i changed my mind. -laughs- In view of the recent happenings, i realise that cher is a paranoid asshole. Wait, I've always been an insecure fuck. -shrug- i shouldnt care.

Mmf with each passing week, the weekend arrives and i breathe a sigh of relief, happy that i've made it thru another audrous 5 days in academic prison, and to a certain extent , sanguine bout the coming week, that somehow or rather it will bear less stress than the previous one. yeah right. bah.

I feel this stinging sensation at the back of my eyes, they hurt.

Fuck. i cant seem to blog bout what i want. till next time.

{ 8:09 AM }

I know i'm a little 'lag' but i just got underoath's latest album and i kinda really like it alot. Not too heavy, not to mellow, not too emo. Just nice. And with my mood a little over the gloomy side tonight, the album suits me perfectly. Dang, i think i should have gotten AFI? comments on their album please.

Hung out with mark in town after school. I was sorely disappointed THE TOUFU MAN SERIES WAS NOT FOR SALE. -frown- they're so awesomely cute. i have to get it.

I was supposed to have dinner with my mom, but then we bumped into my aunt who was meeting my cousin. Sooo i ended up having dinner with 4 other people i didnt really wanna have dinner with. So I excused myself and took an early leave. sigh.

I wanted to stone but there wasnt anybody i could stone with at that moment. Went home and screamed everything out. Believe me. i screamed/yelled it out. I felt so much better.


{ 6:35 AM }

When u're hungry and exhausted. And all u can think of, with ur throbing mind is to get home ASAP, the WORSE thing that can happen is to have a cab STOLEN from u. just like that. those kids just got into the yellow taxi; and we let them, without even so much of a holler or struggle. I guess we assumed the position of the bigger person. Smth good will happen to us, says nise. haha But i gave them the finger, does that still count? -laughs- WHAT. I WAS TIRED AND THEY STOLE MY FUCKING CAB. kids.

Them, strutting around with their horribly obviously folded skirts and half tucked blouse, their fugly spikey hair and fuctup attitude. Gee, kids. they're like 14. kids. how shallow i'd be if i picked a fight with them just because of one stupid yellow taxi. oh well.

I think its really sad that joakim/joaquim is like the target for the media and every petty singaporean to lash out on. He seems like a nice person, and its not that he can help it that he's popular or anything. I do agree he cant sing for nuts. BUt stop critisizing him like its his fault that so many ppl like him la? Just isnt logical.

You have a funnie way of making me turn around and walk straight towards the barrel of ur gun. Just to be shot over and over again. But not this time. Walking away. Walked away. Wont work no more. i like it better this way =)
{ 7:38 AM }

I'm feeling stupid again. goossh. time and time again, i come back to the same dreadful question. why do i even bother. -rolls eyes- okay. i wont. yeah right. i'll try . i have to . Can someone please explain organic chem to me. the bonds and electron clouds make no sense. they just look like gooey stuff and donuts and floats. -frown-

i'm feeling down and vexed. perhaps its just the alcohol. nawwww.

Reached out. got nothing.
{ 8:13 AM }

I commit suicide but i dont wanna die
Take away the pain
And let me fly away

Ouh my starry eyed surprise (:(:
youyouyouyouyou
{ 7:45 AM }

ouh my gourd. i'm so tired. I woke up at 6.30 on a saturday. Nice. Had breakfast, read a little before heading back to bed again.

I dont know what happened but i got really aggitated (with nothing) in the evening. I dont get those mathilda( hope i spelt her name right) Fans and petty singaporeans who go denouncing other contestants and stressing how impt it is to vote for the voice . Sg idol is not SOLELY a singing competition. If it were, thn the organisers should have erase their faces and put the show on radio instead. Dont downplay how important imagine is. Face it, she's out. Yes she's got a good voice but she lacks appeal. Shove ur grievances back into ur mouth .

mmf.
{ 9:15 AM }

oh my. what am i doing online at 8 in the morning. i woke up at approx 6.30. been awake every since. dont ask me what i was doing.

Guess what. ifinallygotmenicehugecomfywarmfuzzyHOODIE. huag huag huag huaggg *spasms with glee* i kinda bought it on impulse so i kinda regret it. i cant wait for holidays/exams to be over. i cant wait to fill my closet with new stuff. speaking of my horribly messy closet, i need to clean it out one day. clothes are everywhere.

American haunting wasnt as scary as i had anticipated, even tho i jumped afew times. hahahahh perhaps it was the crowd. they kept giving unnecessary comments, albeit funnie ones, which spoilt the movie but its all good. made me laugh. Darius was cursing like a sailor.



{ 5:14 PM }

The past 2 days have beeen ..stagment. no fluctuation of moods..not particularly. I was at a constant low/mellow slash whatever mood thats no higher than glee and no lower than depressed. Tryna keep it that way. u can call if you have something to say.

{ 7:40 AM }

i spent the morning chasing chickens, plucking weeds and chasing chickens! I liked it. I felt like a kid, delirious , frantic and roaring with laughter. I really really really enjoyed our CIP. -gri nn- I think it helped in making our class more united. At last, doing something together. Esp the chicken chasing. even kitty and juana got involved.

I had an awesome dinner with my mother and witnessed the most blatant display of bad cam whoring. they had to ask the waitress to take a pic for them after a succession of self snaps ending in a fiasco. tsk tsK

i love my new drug
{ 8:10 AM }

{ 7:13 AM }

We have fickle classmates. No. more like opinionated classmates, who stand for what they want/feel . I think that's why its so hard to have a successful ( meanin everyone has got to be there) class outing. the six of us were stuck at orchard becos some wanted to watch a movie, some wanted to go sentosa, and the rest..were decision-less. haha i just wanted to look for hoodies. i didnt get to in the end cos all the deliberating and walking to and fro wore me out .. and induced more than a little faint crankiness within me. We ended up gg to ms in the 'end'. More accurately put, i ended up gg home and they, to sentosa i think. -shrug-

ah. Friend1 : i will just forget it. GEE man . I've been thru it over a million times. Everytime when i'm finally making some progress, somehow it fucts and i'm back to square one again. Makes u wonder dont it. wonder how many falls does it take so make someone wake up .

I detest adults. I hate to become one of dem one day. They walk around in school, awash with pride and authority. so miserable and cocky. how repugnant. At times, i think that most of them are more childish than us 'kids'. they bicker and get worked up over little things. They're petty and fussy, assuming the right to vent their anger on us. just because u're older? Fuck you.

and people. please grow up . the fucking shrills of laughter and outbursts and horribly immautre teasing redolent of kinder kids are getting to me. period. you are 17 for goodness sake. not 5. i dont get it. People were giving ya'll the weird stares. the kind i'd give if i was a stranger.
{ 8:17 AM }

It seems like the only time i can really concentrate and steep myself within the books is when i am troubled because feeling that way fuels my determination to use the words and information and a tool to shove em into the back of my mind. nice.

Chicken boy is a stupid book. i dont get it. perhaps the plot is as simple as the arthor made it out to be or maybe there's a deeper anlogy to the whole chicken rearing and chicken talk and Aracuana's laying green eggs instead of blue ones? i do admire the lead character though. he thinks simple. way too simple. i shud be like that. Anyway, to kill a mocking bird is an entirely different matter. the initial switch from horribly over simplified insipid lady-bird ish to a more sophisticated and to a slight extent, mundanely humourous english took a while to get used to. yes , i do realise i am ranting.

I have taken an odd liking to toilet rolls in the washroom. They make me spasm with glee. o.O And i put eminem on repeat on the stereo. - I have lost my mind.

you didnt have to make that mistake.


{ 7:19 AM }

yum yum. Hershey's kisses makes me blush. The past few days, or shud i sae, ever since the start of this week ( yes i know its onli day3) have been quite low for me. I find myself zoning out and being more of an observer than a participator in conversations and stuff. And i noticed alot of things that were there all along. Yes i've become more ignorant, but this only makes me conc more on right stuff and not be plauged endlessly by the unnecessary. -shrug- 2 can play the same game. and trust me, i can.

Wanz, nise, vance and i went to indulge. maybe if i looked hard enough for you at the bottom of the bottle, i'd find you.
{ 5:52 AM }

We had this stress management talk and the dood gave us some personality test. Im a d.i. ( dominace and indulgence) Gee, sounds like the ulitermate fuct personality. lols. According to this test, it says that in order to manage my stress, i should express my dissatisfaction directly and talk to people and stuff. -laughs- hurrah? i have the right to be blatantly blunt and u cant say anything about it! ha. which is often to case..no? parkyo.

I cursed like a sailor todae and feeling damn good about it.

Acted like fools after school. Just sat back and watched and laughed and exposed luan's granny undies. lmao.
{ 7:29 AM }

There are bullet holes where compassion used to be

Hanabanana Choo Wei Chen Ben Fong Nick Gary

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