OUH MY GOURRDD!!!!!!!!!!!! -screams- You will never have guessed whu i spent NYE with! Actually, can lah. but its so bizzare , so unbelievable . the fucking paradox of it all. -laughs- It only hit us squarely minutes out of 2005 . OF all people, i end up watching brilliant ,breath-taking fireworks with my pri sch friend of 7 8 years. hahahahahaha . i'm still laughing to myself. okAy, that sounds right. no. its supposed to sound wrong. i dont know how to make it sound wrong. :s Kudos to him, we accidentally got the perfect seats for the fireworks display; we were in the (dead) centre. Also, no one dared confetti me, cos of the supah fierce looking mat next tuh me. -laughs harder- As much as i hate to boost ur ego P, its true. Gah .

ooh. here's a list of afew FIRSTS of 2006

First cuss sentence : Simi lan jiao, FUCKK off.
First 4 gay couples : Banglas
First song : lady marmalade
In addition..i also got my first slap, pinch, sneeze, heard the first yell of the new year , had my first cheesey naChos, mocha,

ouh my, i just realised king is the first guy/mat i'm with for 06. hahaha and vice versa. thats so funnie.

i reached home at arnd.. 745 i fink..and was in bed by 830? woke up at 1. so that means..i only got 5 hrs of sleep. why arent i tired? i shud be in bed. In fact, i shud have slept along wisma like most ppl did , snoozed in the train like he did. but the furthest i got was a long 5mins of shut eye. even had the energy to ring mel up early in the mornin to giggle laugh and squeel. i gave her a shock whn i suggested meeting her for a jog.

In hindsight, i dont know how we spent the night. the highlight of eve was only the firework display. we went orchard after that, to witness some racial discrimination and squueze a little laugh out of it. heh. oRchard was eerily empty. i guess it was better than having mobs of *ahem*. by 4, the streets were more or less devoid of any being.

lalala. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!


{ 10:22 PM }

like KING sed, t'night was nice. Great in fact. whY? prollz cos he had wat 120mg of nicotine . -throws hands in the air- w0o0o0o. i didnt.. but i still had fun. Esplanaduu rocks la. right sha? -laughs- looking at both of them just makes me giggle. i dont know why bt i think they're adorable.

thats all for now cos my mind's blank and i'm too exhausted to think or smth.. adkfjoirhansm
{ 8:28 AM }

Cocooned in a mesh of barbed wires, feeling blissfully placid in an environment so desolate and odious, nestled so comfortably in this web of ignorance and deceit that i am reluctant to move ; tho doin so wud only be logical. What if i just slept here, battling my own demons in a neverending nightmare, with self loathe and angst settling upon my shoulders like a warm blanket? besides, its whutt i've been doing for ages. So long that its all i know how to do these days. And..i like it. those taunting shrieks in my mind have transcended into melodic hums.


{ 5:29 AM }

Haepii birthday king phinneas. :) *sows my mouth shut*
{ 7:36 AM }

oh how my blood boils. Thrown in a paroxym of anger , i rant :
I AM SO THOROUGHLY INSULTED. and it nv ends does it?!?!?!?!!?!? i just dont fk-ing get it. why why why oh why do guys need to clearify -screams- I DONT CARE!!!! -slaps forehead- if i did i wudnt have acted the way i did. think abt it its so twisted , and the whole thing made out like I'M the one into . whoever said that was the case? Gee. nuff said. i've touched on this topic before and u noe how fucking much it irks me when guys do that. told u before. muakies to sheila and KING aka pedo-chuckles- 4 being theere . those ppl? same frequency.

i cud write a whole fucking essay to retort but i wont. cos i'm nice and i dont think the whole words needs to noe. yes ppl. deeep down in this lil black heart, there exists some kindness. shared with only those whu deserve it. kudos to being not a complete jerk. and please, i dont need ur advice; dont give it to someone u barely know.

-grins-
- nudge KING-
{ 7:25 AM }

i dont get it. idontgettit. lols. getTIT. why does one's birthday bloody degenerates to a trunk card for another to get with someone!!!! Its silly, or even .. ludicrious. when guys ask me out on my birthday . what. why the fuCk wud i wanna spend it with YOU?! okay okay, even if someone special did ask me out. i'd be estatic. over the moon. mostly Becos he asked me out. i dont get how the whole bdae thing magically adds effect to that. i know i know its a special day and all. But to abandon u're friends and whisk of to spend the day with someone whom u may end up hating for the rest of the year, instead of friends whu've been with u thru thick and thin? talk about celebrating with e worthy. tsk.
{ 8:24 AM }

{ 1:04 AM }

{ 5:40 AM }

{ 10:36 PM }

-screams- why do i have such stupid parents!!!!!! i'm not sorry for returning home late. cos my actions are justified. i wrote the address on the notepad perfect.Any modicum of common sense wud have inferred that there's absolutely no way one can return frm eunon to bb in 15 minutes. so, i'm sorry 4 not spelling every thing out..from A right to Z for u. im sorry for trteating u like an adult. i'm sorry.

Whilst my mother and i yelled at each other. There my father was, nestled comfortably in his bed watching te tele. yet, he was the sole fucking engender to my mom's franctic state. i wanna mutilate him. He thinks i'm out gelevanting. and she believed him. gosh. i hate it to break it to them but i dont think trust shud even be handed to him. HE DOESNT KNOW ME. yeah. he wants me back. i return home to find him not even bothering. if this is how bad he wants me to return home, how ''worried' he is, thn i dont think he should even provoke my mother to yell and scream at me ; fighting for him, w/o a fucking solid relevant cause. cos wht this does it hurt both parties, with the harbinger untouched. unmoved.

i'm not mad because my mother yelled at me. im angry cos my father had not the balls to yell in my face. whts there to hide?

On a lighter note, jj looked great. albeit a little darker and reticent. :) i didnt noe whuttafucka he was playing but i guess he ought to be damn good at it to make it into the VJC band huh? i was e only lps-ian whu went. awwww.
{ 8:27 AM }

i miss him. who u ask. i dont know. ah. i see u smacking ur forehead. the puss oozing twat rats? frowning, cursing under their breath " bloody bitch. what a flirt " yada yada yada. i was walking home in the evening when my mind played an imaginery scene of some girl accusing me of being a flirt. perhaps its my conscience. -laughs- BUT. who said flirting is bad?

girls only think its bad when its the reason why their crush/bf/guy friends have been robbed from them . yEt when they are guilty of the exact same action they have onced so viewed with deep seated virulence , suddenly flirting doesnt seem so bad afterall. victim : sour grappy hypocrites! *sticks tongue out* which in other words, is everyone.

:)
{ 7:55 AM }

- laughs violently- gee. somehow. that sounds so wrong.

Did you know.. i used to have a online diary-not a blog. but an OD. back like a year ago. i just visited the site a while ago and.. ITS STILL ALIVE! MY BLOODY OD IS STILL ALIVE!!!!!! i thought they whud have deleted it or something but ITS STILL THERE!!!


{ 8:02 AM }

omgg!! watching the vid for Jesus Of Suburbia-Green day has been made mandatory by ME. so go watch it! i absolutely adore it. esp the main star. i wonder whts his name. he looks really hot. that however, is not the main reason why i like the vid. instead, its the raw sordid events of ev.dae life dicpicted with such life! i flinched when he cut himself with the blade. reminded me of ... but what bullshit. lol. a cut like that can nv produce such a nice handprint. the blood looks fake too. they shud make it abit..orangy. -shrug-


{ 10:47 PM }

cheryl had another break down. This time, in front of bear, pedo n kai and lotsa strangers. mostly men. Gee. sorry. why am i even appolozing? like duh of course i said its not ya'll fault but like duh it is yo. hahhah they were just the trigger. thats all. the black round my eyes was smudging like shit but i didnt care. haha. kinda cool. i looked like death. really. -grin-

Pedo did little to comfort. its okay cos.he's a guy afterall. hhahaha. thanks to sha i was laughing like shit in to time. not becos she listened to my probs and stuff but becos we were gossipping so much. GEE. so bad . but ouh whatever. =p

went walking arnd orchard before gg to esplanaduu. tsk. thanks to pedo i'm beginning to favour tt place. shitto.

oh where's my knight in shining thong? -chuckles-
{ 7:46 AM }

hmms. went to luq's hse for some confessions thing. sparked by events on 18th nov. i think. the day of our last paper. well, the whole thing was supposed to help us i guess. but it backfired. not only did i feel worse, i felt like crying. at that place. not that i'm saying the hwole thing was a failure but dammit i feel like brawling! haha. okay, maybe thats abit exaggerated . but i didnt really sae ev.thing out cos if i continued i wud have 'teared heavily' . yupp. i was angry, frustrated and sad at the same time. i dont understand cos he nv tells me anything. sucks piss. like hell i miss him like shit. but wth caresss.

i dont understand. why are ppl afraid to let ev.thing out. say ho they rreally feel? in my opinion, things cant get any worse. so why not just exaggerbate it. wht can possibly go wrong. to me, i'm more or less immune to pain. -laughs- like surprise me lah. maybe thats wht paranoia does to u.

unfortunately, sheila and luq had to go off early. so i was kinda left with no where to go. headed to lien's hse just to play her ps2. heheheheh. golly, ddr rocks. lmfao. the other games just wudn't fucking work!!!

hmm. thats all. for the moment.
{ 5:16 AM }

Warning : writing in w/o control of her faculties.

If there's anything past events have taught me, its that 2 can play the same game. And dont mourn or cuss over ur crushed ego or how u've been betrayed cos u urself have been doing it aswell. I say u 'clink' glasses with ur partner -- a toast to having fun ; to taking things lightly .


{ 2:37 AM }

hahahahaha 'Holiday' in sg and guess what? NO PRESENTS FOR U PPL!!!!! "why?!" u scream with righteous indignation. cos u all nv visit me!!! ok la. pathetic excuse. -giggles- actually, i've bot ya'll pressies already. so i'll just tie em up and classify under " christmas presents" -wink- i'm just so smart. yes jy, i still owe u a fucking wallet. As a strut thru orchard , i've finally made a short list of the things i want for xmas.

1. perfume ( Guess/DKNY). the anna sui one smells like mango. forgot the name.
2. urhh. i dunno. belt!!
3. Stilletoes(dunno how to spell) heels frm zara

so ya. materialistic ppl just get me those ya. Muaks.

the 'holiday' was pretty much like any other short holiday in the region. i'm a little darker. i love it. i'm ORANGE. like a bloody person frm nepal. dunno lah. anyways, i'm pretty fuctup. Thus, i shall cut the update bullshit and dive str8 to wht i wanna say

i had the most WONDERFUL, AWESOME , GREAT, BRILLIANT , date with pedo ytd. my oh my what a novel experience. never in my life have i had to open doors for a guy. hahahaha jkjk. In light of his pms, i shall forgive him huh. thank goodness i didnt have dinner before the movie, or i wud have ruminated ev.thing out. like hell, saw2 is one sick movie. Actually, i had anticipated more gory version but nevermind. Still cant top hse of wax. hmm. went city hall aft that. i dunno where we went, i dont think there's even a name for it. somewhere under benjamin sheers bridge thats wht he says. but i thot that bridge was on the other side? the one at fullerton? or is that another bridge? dunno.

Tried cheering him up, boost his ego (bleah) and all but in the end i knew he was still crushed. it sucks doesnt it? smth like feeling so helpless. ahaha. saw him "tear" for the first time. haix. thn i had to go. fucking hate it. c0s i knew when i'm alone again, the shitty thots come sinking in. and they did. Its not like i want them to, somehow, they just find their way into my mind. i i get so angsty. logic thn takes a backseat . FUCK.
{ 1:52 AM }

*waves frantically* i'mm backkk!!! 3D 2N with my class. i LOVE it. i got what i wanted. Despite the few series of unfortunate events. (lol), we sstill manged to squeze some fun out of it. go read lien's blog for the funnie part. hahaa. i shall highlight the "disasters"

first nite - the "missing" ppl

As much as i am touched by they're concern, i think they may hve over reacted aABIT. but the formal dictates the latter so here i am feeling like shit. I didnt noe the peseudo drunk talk was so convincing. neither did i have any notion how believable pedo sounded when he said he brot rubber. LOL. geeeezzz ppeeooopplleeee. We are teenagers with ranging hormones that have a firm(HAH) grasp of self-control. :) All we did was eat, talk and thn kinda fell asleep and lost track of time.

Aside from the land breeze thn pierced our skin. everything was more or less perfect. cos thn and there, all that was on my mind was that moment. kinda like i left by troubles behind and really really enjoyed myself. of course, the consequences were dire. but if only we cud just stay abit longer. spend and night there and wake up to see the sun rise. that wud be much much beTter. and more memorable as well. but nevermind.

rmb when i was at sentosa and saw this island that was deemed as m'sia? indust place and all. well, its pasir ris . cos i was beside the rig and it looked identical. and taht super red spot? i think its there too. -chuckles-

Second nite - Bizzare love triangle

like duh. of course i'm not guna spill the beans and reveal the characters. but this thing made the trouble i caused seem liliputian. so yeah. woohooo. -grinn-


lets talk about the chalet. its smal crammy and dirty. when we left, the place look like a fucking pig sty. the floor and walls were sticky cos pedo sprayed sparkling juice ev.where. plastic bags and wrapperes littered the place. etc etc. the toilet was so crammy and i felt like ruminating ev.time i stepped in cos the tiles were kinda black and abit ssandy.

hmmm. wht else. OH. im still not tan in case u're wondering. spent lil time in the water and sun. but i noe aft tmr. i'll def be tan. altho..i'm not really keen. i'll see wht i can do. avoid the sun as and when i can. my dad owes me a sum of money and he's nt paying up.
{ 5:02 AM }

Now that i'm in full posession of all my faculties. Its time for a proper entry. The three of us dragged our sexy hot asses out just to be left stumped by The Fuckers . :) Love ur title? u shud. very appropriate. didnt take me long to see the start similarity . I wonder why we even bothered. oh well. I can be generous. i can be very generous. but after eons of giving, i EXPECT to receive. and you fuckers aren't giving back. so . i just have one thing to sae : pay back's a bitch. Be prepared

I'll be on a 3 day hiatus . class chalet thing. bloody fuctup chalet thing. i'm just so bloody excited. not like there's like freeflow of alcohol. not like anyone's bringing a mah jong set. i noe i said i was guna bring it. but HEY. guess wat? why shud i care? guna be just as irresponsible as you dumbfucks. They act like they're cool. they try to deviate frm the mainstream. but . ya'll are just the same. actually. ball-less. All talk no action people. sigh.

I was supposed to go out later. but OH WELL. when i saw the message i began having chronic spasms attribted to extreme shock. i so did not see it coming. LOL. whatever man. life is littered with let downs . llallalalala.

My mother is so paranoid. Everytime she presents some absurd explanation as to why i nv pick up my calls etc. i TRY to calm myself down and tell myself repeatedly that she cares for me. It works. like less than halve of the time. aRgh. it sucks to have her not trust me . it sucks that she has such low expetations of me. It sucks how she looks down on me. the irony. the fucking paradox.
{ 2:04 AM }

{ 12:13 AM }

" What kind of girl makes a guy wait? A GREAT ONE" 2 can play the same game la babe. -smirks-

ha ha ha! nono. Ah Ah Ah. i wna sound like count. so much for self-control. yes i kicked myself silly. when u have the means, u dont have the urge. When u purge urself of it, the urge surfaces. like a mean thing. MEAN MEAN MEAN thing. So after much (alot) persuasion, i'm gg back to get my beloved CK shirt. i'm s0o0o0o0o0oo0 in love with it! cud have screamed. and yes. more presents for u people. especially special people. dunnno wht to get. puiee.

Purposely accidentally met Denise at Liz clarborne. she's working there see. hahaha wave like mad women.

i shall blog more tmr or smth. Got some rants to rant but i'm too exhausted and distrought to pen em down.
{ 9:13 AM }

i was thinking, why can't people change their memories as and when they want, as often as a snake shred's its skin? i wish i cud assume a pseudonym and live with it, discard it whn i've grown out of it, got tired of it. That wud be utopia for me. i'm sorry for making u guys worried for me. i'm sorry if mel didnt enjoy her prom. ( i hope u did. i'm sure u did) What killed me wasnt wht u guys did but the morbid thoughts that swam thru my mind. It was almost too revelating to construe, to shocking to comprehend. what the fuck. really. If i cud, i'l tear my skin off. just to grow a new one. Just to relish the titilating(haha) prickly pain.

Why cant humans be like that. wither and die like plants do when conditions become too adverse. produce protective resilient covers when the environment works to their disadvantage. only to shred and grow into an entirely new entity when things become better. why not why not why not. If it were thru, i'd like to burst into flames like some spontaneous combustion thingy and disintergrate to ash. only to be blown away by the wind. MAN. life wud be so short. i'm always fucking up. always falling into potholes.

my thoughts at present may be abhorrent, or even immature . so sue me.

e6 chalet has nv been so timely. what i need is 3 days so fun. and nothing short of that. 3 fucking days of mindless crap and pretentious laughter. maybe i'll pretend so much i'll fall for the act myself. yes. that wud be best.

damn my eyes hurt.
gorge them out and feed me to the crows. i quit.
{ 6:54 AM }

i had a horrible day. it nv stops raining on me. shawn is like superman. really. that guy like travels with the speed of light or something. Its scary cos he's like one of the few whu keeps his promises. i dunno. and i feel like shit cos he's always there when i need someone the most. literally. always. Abit ..scary. hurhur. but he cheered me up. He saw my eyes and he kneew wht happened. gosh i hate smart guys. but i guess the advantage was i need not pretend i was okay. cos i so wasnt . And the last place i wasnt to be was home. i didnt wnna go home. Run away like den did? i dare not. Dunno where to stay also. -shrug-

Initially, i wanted to go some place quiet and yell ev.thing out buT my tummy damanded an alternative. so i had a feast. its kinda funnie . i was supposed to be bereft but i kept laughing. omg . i'm going crazy. pms to the max i tell u.

Upon reaching home, my mother greeted me with a nice hospitable nAg bout ..well i cant say it here . too mature content. it hurt. but i'm used to it.

Talked to mel later in the night . or better yet, till the next day. in other words, till 12. hurhur. she's a very good listerner. haha . have fun with that email. i' m tpying in such a monosyllabic manner. goSh.

so like. apart from tat sudden outburst of emotions. i'm numb to the core. sigh. cliche..hak-nayed but..true nonetheless. geee. what happened.
{ 8:02 AM }

There are bullet holes where compassion used to be

Hanabanana Choo Wei Chen Ben Fong Nick Gary

06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007 04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007 12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008 03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008 04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008 05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008 06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008 07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008 08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008 09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008 11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008 12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009 01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009 02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009 03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009 04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009 05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009 06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009 07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009 08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009 09/01/2009 - 10/01/2009 10/01/2009 - 11/01/2009 11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009 12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010 01/01/2010 - 02/01/2010 02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010 03/01/2010 - 04/01/2010 04/01/2010 - 05/01/2010 07/01/2010 - 08/01/2010 09/01/2010 - 10/01/2010 10/01/2010 - 11/01/2010 11/01/2010 - 12/01/2010 01/01/2011 - 02/01/2011 02/01/2011 - 03/01/2011

Designer: inksplash
Resources: 1 2 3 4